Dec. 5, 2022
Dude, I'm Forty-Seven
In which Remi confronts the reality of aging, albeit by learning she looks under 21 with sunglasses on... which feels like a compliment until she forgets her ID.
In which Remi confronts the reality of aging, albeit by learning she looks under 21 with sunglasses on... which feels like a compliment until she forgets her ID.
WEBVTT
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Welcome to my weekly Panic Attack.
I'm your host, Remy Brooks. I've
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been a licensed psychotherapist for over twenty
years and run a thriving private practice.
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I'm also diagnosed s BI polar an
OCD. Often the two do not mix
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well, which tends to throw my
life into complete chaos. So as I
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do some spiraling, my best friend
Liz Win will do her best to ground
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me a bit. During this podcast, we'll be talking about the horror and
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the humor of the anxieties of daily
life, the things we do that are
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embarrassing, funny, but yet very
human. Let's get started. So today
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we're talking about how time is just
flying by. I mean, my kid,
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he just turned eighteen, like an
actual adult. I'm not ready for
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this, and it's like I didn't
even see it coming. I didn't prepare
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for this somehow, how did I
miss this? But before we get started
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on that, here's a well agile
moment from Lizz's life. You know what's
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really annoying? So many things,
But what are you talking about? When
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you hold the door for people and
they walk through and don't say thank you?
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I know, do you then say
very loudly so they can hear you,
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no worries. It was my pleasure
to hold the door for you.
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No reman. You never know what
kind of day a person is having,
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so to avoid confrontation stright, no
remedy ever know what kind of day people
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are having. So I just avoid
confrontation with strangers, even when you're on
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the way out holding the door and
they don't say thank you, then you
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don't say you are so welcome.
I was just standing here hoping for the
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opportunity to hold the door open for
a stranger, and look at that.
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My witch came true. No I
don't And this has been a well adjusted
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moment from Lizz's life. Well,
my baby has turned into a man,
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and it has totally caught me off
guard. It floors me because literally,
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I because you know me, and
I'm remembering and linking things to events.
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I remember his brist was right after
the Easter. I go away for Easter
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with my family, and I came
back from east to go to his brust,
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which was on the Monday after Easter, and I was just thinking,
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I'm like, oh my god,
that was eighteen years ago, and yet
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it feels like yesterday. And that's
the thing. It's like oh god,
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If I close my eyes, I
remember taking my baby to daycare every morning,
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you know, like I remember him
running in to see his best friends.
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I remember standing at the bus stop
on his first day of kindergarten and
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then hopping into my car and following
the bus and watching him walk into the
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school building to make sure that he
was okay. You know, I remember
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his bar mitzvah. Oh my god, it seems like, you know,
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it was just And then when his
voice turned from this little boy's voice into
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a deep man's voice another first time
I heard, I'm like, what happened
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there? What happened there? And
then, you know, his first day
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of high school. And now somehow
my baby is eighteen and a full fledged
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adult who is getting ready to graduate
high school and getting ready for college.
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And I swear he was just playing
with his friends in daycare. And now
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he has been dating the same girl
for over two years, and he has
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a job, and he's driving all
over the place. And I don't get
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it, Like I don't understand where
all this time went, And I just
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how did this happen? And I
think, more importantly than that, what
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how am I old enough to have
a kid who's an adult. I mean,
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I think that is the real question
here. How am I old enough
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to have a kid who's an adult? I mean, yes, this is
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the year that I turn fifty.
And it's interesting because I see people that
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like I grew up with and I
have to say, they look fifty.
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They have definitely aged. And I'm
not saying that they'll look bad, it's
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just that they look older. Well, you know, the funny thing is
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I was just watching The All in
the Family last week and Edith is the
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same age as we are, like
in our late forties when she started that
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show, and I thought, my
god, has what a forty eight to
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fifty year old has changed since you
know, I was born in the nineteen
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seventies. Yes, yes, absolutely
still some of them that are our age
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are like, oh you're you're you're
pushing ten years older than what you really
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are. I don't really do the
whole Facebook thing, but like, I
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have seen pictures of the people that
I grew up with, and you know,
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and they look good, they look
good, but they definitely look older.
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And the thing is is that I
don't. You don't look older,
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you don't feel older. I both, I don't look older, and I
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don't feel older, and I swear
I am not being narcissistic. I don't
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look anywhere close to fifty. And
that is not just me saying that,
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like strangers who have no skin in
the game have said that to me.
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I recently, somewhat recently, within
the last couple of months, I had
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a networking lunch and during a lunch, age came up and so I said,
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I said, yeah, well,
I'm turning fifty this year, and
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they both thought I was lying,
and there was no reason for them to
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say that. So this is not
just like a me thing, like I
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do not look like I am even
close to fifty. I have to say,
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you never realize until you become these
ages that when that comes up,
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because I had that happened about a
year ago when we were talking and they
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thought that I was in my late
thirties early forties, and I it was.
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So it was a year ago,
and I'm like, turning forty eight
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next week, and oh, your
card just went out today in the mail,
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just so you know, like you'll
keep an eye on it, because
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the way things have been going in
the mail, I may get it,
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you know, Mother's Day, fourth
of Delay right before the pandemic, I
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stopped at wah wah Okay coffee and
for cigarettes, and I don't I don't
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know what was going on that day. There was like one line open,
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and that one line it stretched all
the way back to the like the end
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of the store. I don't know. I have no idea why they didn't
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open up the second line. I
was so annoyed by the time I reached
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the cashier, I put down my
coffee, I asked for my cart and
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his cigarettes, and the guy behind
the counter asked to see my ID right
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for the pandemic. Forty seven years
old, so okay, kind of cute,
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except unfortunately I had only brought in
my debit card with me, So
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I said to him, I assure
you I am most certainly older than twenty
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one. You can you can sell
me the cigarettes. It really, it's
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okay. Only he said to me, no, I really need to see
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your ID. So this went from
like I'm a cute ha ha ha,
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that's funny, to like, not
cute at all. But I'm like,
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dude, I'm forty seven. I
have a kid who's probably older than you,
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Like, my mortgage is older than
you. Believe me, you can
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sell me the fucking cigarettes. And
he's stuck to it. He's like,
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I'm sorry, I need to see
your ID, manja. So for as
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long as this line is, I'm
now the one who's holding it up.
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This very sweet man behind me says, like, think of it this way.
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How often are you mistaken for being
twenty one? It's really actually a
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compliment, totally playing into my vanity. I know he's playing into my vanity.
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It doesn't matter. He's playing into
my vanity. He was a very
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smart man and it worked. I'll
be back with my ID. Sorry,
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walk out of the store, get
the ID with ID in hand. I
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wait in this incredibly one still only
one line open, right, finally make
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it to the front of this line. I tick off my sunglasses. I
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slam down my ID and I say, here's my ID forty seven, just
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like I told you my carton of
cigarettes. Please. And he looked at
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me, not the ID, and
he says, oh, sorry, ma'am,
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I'll get that for you. Now. You went to mam and you
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came that age back. Sorry,
man, like even ma'am today, I'm
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like, I'm not ady, please
don't mam me. Uh. He was
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just like parting me. So I'm
know what, like, how is he
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not looking at the ID? That
he didn't look at it? That he
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just forced me to get He forced
me out of the store to get the
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ID and wait in this exceptionally long
line, Like the fuck what is happening?
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He wrung me up without looking at
the ID. He made me get
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so I say, um, what
aren't you looking? And then ah,
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it's me with my sunglasses on.
I looked young. Oh with them off,
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I must have looked what Yeah,
and you were big sunglasses. So
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not that you have wrinkles, but
big sunglasses cover a myriad of issues.
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Peak black sunglasses. We're gonna take
a quick break and we'll be right back.
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So clearly this cashier is calling me
old les, poor boys, you
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know, the poor boys. Following
is first thing he's thinking. I'm just
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doing my job, job, I
am throwing. Okay, another Wala experience.
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But throughout the pandemic, I stopped
going to like all unnecessary places,
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and that includes Wahwa. So throughout
the last two years, I think I
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had gone to Wawa all of like
two times. And I used to go
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there every single day for a cup
of coffee and maybe twice a day,
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but over the last two years,
one of those dinormous bats of coffee thing
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going forty some ounces, like yeah, two weeks ago, maybe three weeks
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ago, two three, I don't
know. Um. I had to take
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my little one over to the dentist, and our way home from the dentist
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we literally pass my wah Wah and
as I'm approaching, I'm trying to decide
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Wawa no wah Wa wa Wa no
wah wah. And I needed to decide
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quickly because if I'm going to Wahwa, I need to be in the left
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lane. And I go to the
left. I'm going to go to wah
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Wah. I have not had the
mocha alert in like again, I've had
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it twice in two years. So
I'm gonna go to Wahwa. So I
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go and I fill up my coffee, and since I was there, I
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figured I might as well get a
carton of cigarettes. So the woman behind
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the counter asked my ID. Now
I'm nine years old, okay, and
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I laugh outright. Only this time
I take it as a compliment because I
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do have my ID on me.
But I ask her for real, like
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I say, I say to her
like seriously, I turn fifty this year
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and she says, no, you
don't, and I say I do,
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I really really do. And she
says, you definitely don't look it.
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Well, that is very nice of
you, but I think we can both
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admit that I also don't look anywhere
close to twenty one. So she explains
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to me anyone questionable they had id. So I'm confused because I am not
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even questionably close to twenty one.
So what their thing is is questionable is
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considered if you look thirty or younger, they need to ide you. And
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I'm like, so you think I
look thirty or younger? And she said
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I do, and I said it's
said. Okay, you must always remember
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this moment. This is a very
special moment in time. Your mother is
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turning fifty this year, and I
was carted. And he says, I
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don't know what any of that means. Looking at your life, you're out
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of your mind, and this is
a big it's a big moment for me.
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Okay, it's a big moment.
So I to try to explain this
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to him and he cuts me off
and says, can I just say I
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really don't care? Oh no,
no, he won't care. Until you
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know, in another thirty or forty
years when he gets parted or someone thinks
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that he's ten or fifteen years younger. We all get that way when I
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when I told my nieces and nephews, take your naps now, because when
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you've become an adult, you can't
do it, and none of them is
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to take their naps. And now
I talk to like my oldest niece and
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I'm like, I told you to
take your naps. She's like, yeah,
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I wish I had done that.
I'm like, say, I arrange
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my clients around my nap schedule.
I take a nap every single day.
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It is as important for me to
nap as it is to see clients and
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make money. Just saying okay,
I haven't taken a nap in years,
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So I don't know. I feel
very sorry for you because I look forward
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to my knaps every single day.
So I kind of just want to go
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back for a minute, because I
don't I really don't know how I could
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be old enough to have a child
who's an adult. And by the way,
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you know how on kids birthdays it's
their day, like they get present,
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they get cake, they are celebrated. Everyone claps and sings happy birthday
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to them. I think all mommies
are going to understand what I'm about to
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say. As I'm smiling and clapping
and happy for my kids, what I'm
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really thinking is why aren't they clapping
for me? All my kids did was
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live, Yes you want that.
Yeah, I'm the one who kept them
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alive. It was all me,
all me, and it's a fucking hard
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ass job. So all of you
people turn around and clap for me.
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My kid made it to adulthood because
I'm the one who got him there.
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I am fucking amazing, like maybe
even perhaps the best mother in the world.
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And yes, I know many many
other mothers have done this before me,
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and many many will do this after
me, and I get that.
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But here's the thing. We are
oh amazing, like every single one of
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us. We are incredible human beings. I am be on impressed with myself
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and I still have like one way
to go and it's fucking exhausting and I
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don't know how I do it.
So for all the mommies out there who
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have reached the milestone of keeping your
child alive and even thriving to adulthood,
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good for you. Like major paddle
in the back, like forget about singing
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for your kid and clapping for your
kid, pet yourself on the back,
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and like, Okay, well,
my little boy is now a man,
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and I mean like a man who's
afraid to kill spiders, but a man
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all the same. And I just
want to take a moment because I am
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so unbelievably proud of who he has
has become. He has achieved something that
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most adults in life haven't achieved.
This kid, oh god, this kid
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adult has managed to create balance in
his life, which I think in general,
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most people can't do. He wow
the school and comes home and does
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his homework, and he works like
five days a week, and he has
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managed to save so much money.
And he hangs out with his guy friends,
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00:21:42.279 --> 00:21:48.240
and he makes a point of hanging
out with his girlfriend, and he
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00:21:48.519 --> 00:21:56.200
still records music. Like he has
created balance in his life. And I'm
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so proud of him, and so
like he's becoming this unbelievable, this wonderful,
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incredible man person. And so as
life continues to change, right,
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00:22:18.440 --> 00:22:25.279
and I'm not really sure now as
he's an adult, you know what this
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00:22:25.359 --> 00:22:32.039
new dynamic is going to be like
and how the roles in this household and
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00:22:32.119 --> 00:22:37.680
outside of this household, and how
everything is going to change. I think
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one thing within this conversation has brought
me some comfortlet and what is that that?
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At least I can always count the
wawas it's the constant. I can
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00:23:02.240 --> 00:23:07.759
always go to Wah Wah for their
moocha alert coffee and make it through your
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day and make it through the day. That is, everything else is changing
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00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:22.039
so fucking rapidly, I can always
go to blah wah God. Oh,
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00:23:23.000 --> 00:23:32.160
So that is that time keeps flying
by, but we remain by bayh bay
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00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:40.480
my bay. You can reach us
at Voyage Media at Twitter, Instagram,
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00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:45.160
and on Facebook, and you can
reach out directly to me at Panicked Remy
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00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:48.640
on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
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00:00:08.759 --> 00:00:13.199
Welcome to my weekly Panic Attack.
I'm your host, Remy Brooks. I've
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00:00:13.240 --> 00:00:18.399
been a licensed psychotherapist for over twenty
years and run a thriving private practice.
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00:00:18.839 --> 00:00:25.519
I'm also diagnosed s BI polar an
OCD. Often the two do not mix
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00:00:25.800 --> 00:00:32.280
well, which tends to throw my
life into complete chaos. So as I
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00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:38.479
do some spiraling, my best friend
Liz Win will do her best to ground
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00:00:38.520 --> 00:00:43.280
me a bit. During this podcast, we'll be talking about the horror and
7
00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:48.759
the humor of the anxieties of daily
life, the things we do that are
8
00:00:48.840 --> 00:00:57.399
embarrassing, funny, but yet very
human. Let's get started. So today
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00:00:57.679 --> 00:01:03.920
we're talking about how time is just
flying by. I mean, my kid,
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00:01:04.319 --> 00:01:11.959
he just turned eighteen, like an
actual adult. I'm not ready for
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00:01:12.079 --> 00:01:19.480
this, and it's like I didn't
even see it coming. I didn't prepare
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00:01:19.560 --> 00:01:23.439
for this somehow, how did I
miss this? But before we get started
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00:01:23.439 --> 00:01:29.560
on that, here's a well agile
moment from Lizz's life. You know what's
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00:01:29.599 --> 00:01:36.719
really annoying? So many things,
But what are you talking about? When
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00:01:36.719 --> 00:01:38.599
you hold the door for people and
they walk through and don't say thank you?
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00:01:40.200 --> 00:01:45.280
I know, do you then say
very loudly so they can hear you,
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00:01:45.760 --> 00:01:49.040
no worries. It was my pleasure
to hold the door for you.
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00:01:52.040 --> 00:01:53.519
No reman. You never know what
kind of day a person is having,
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00:01:53.599 --> 00:02:00.200
so to avoid confrontation stright, no
remedy ever know what kind of day people
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00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:06.599
are having. So I just avoid
confrontation with strangers, even when you're on
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00:02:06.640 --> 00:02:10.039
the way out holding the door and
they don't say thank you, then you
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00:02:10.120 --> 00:02:17.159
don't say you are so welcome.
I was just standing here hoping for the
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00:02:17.280 --> 00:02:22.439
opportunity to hold the door open for
a stranger, and look at that.
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00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:30.960
My witch came true. No I
don't And this has been a well adjusted
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00:02:30.000 --> 00:02:39.479
moment from Lizz's life. Well,
my baby has turned into a man,
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00:02:40.319 --> 00:02:47.280
and it has totally caught me off
guard. It floors me because literally,
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I because you know me, and
I'm remembering and linking things to events.
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I remember his brist was right after
the Easter. I go away for Easter
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00:02:58.199 --> 00:03:01.080
with my family, and I came
back from east to go to his brust,
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00:03:01.120 --> 00:03:04.800
which was on the Monday after Easter, and I was just thinking,
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I'm like, oh my god,
that was eighteen years ago, and yet
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00:03:07.719 --> 00:03:14.439
it feels like yesterday. And that's
the thing. It's like oh god,
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00:03:14.680 --> 00:03:21.560
If I close my eyes, I
remember taking my baby to daycare every morning,
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00:03:21.800 --> 00:03:24.560
you know, like I remember him
running in to see his best friends.
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00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:31.680
I remember standing at the bus stop
on his first day of kindergarten and
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00:03:31.719 --> 00:03:38.560
then hopping into my car and following
the bus and watching him walk into the
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00:03:38.639 --> 00:03:43.199
school building to make sure that he
was okay. You know, I remember
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00:03:44.159 --> 00:03:46.120
his bar mitzvah. Oh my god, it seems like, you know,
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00:03:46.280 --> 00:03:54.479
it was just And then when his
voice turned from this little boy's voice into
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00:03:54.599 --> 00:04:00.840
a deep man's voice another first time
I heard, I'm like, what happened
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00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:08.039
there? What happened there? And
then, you know, his first day
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00:04:08.080 --> 00:04:16.480
of high school. And now somehow
my baby is eighteen and a full fledged
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00:04:17.120 --> 00:04:24.759
adult who is getting ready to graduate
high school and getting ready for college.
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00:04:25.399 --> 00:04:29.360
And I swear he was just playing
with his friends in daycare. And now
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00:04:29.879 --> 00:04:32.839
he has been dating the same girl
for over two years, and he has
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00:04:32.839 --> 00:04:36.199
a job, and he's driving all
over the place. And I don't get
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00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:42.759
it, Like I don't understand where
all this time went, And I just
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00:04:43.399 --> 00:04:49.600
how did this happen? And I
think, more importantly than that, what
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00:04:50.279 --> 00:04:58.600
how am I old enough to have
a kid who's an adult. I mean,
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00:04:58.680 --> 00:05:03.000
I think that is the real question
here. How am I old enough
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00:05:03.079 --> 00:05:08.399
to have a kid who's an adult? I mean, yes, this is
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00:05:08.439 --> 00:05:18.720
the year that I turn fifty.
And it's interesting because I see people that
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00:05:18.839 --> 00:05:26.199
like I grew up with and I
have to say, they look fifty.
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00:05:26.720 --> 00:05:30.680
They have definitely aged. And I'm
not saying that they'll look bad, it's
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00:05:30.680 --> 00:05:35.600
just that they look older. Well, you know, the funny thing is
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I was just watching The All in
the Family last week and Edith is the
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00:05:42.600 --> 00:05:46.759
same age as we are, like
in our late forties when she started that
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00:05:46.839 --> 00:05:50.439
show, and I thought, my
god, has what a forty eight to
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00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:55.680
fifty year old has changed since you
know, I was born in the nineteen
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00:05:55.720 --> 00:06:01.279
seventies. Yes, yes, absolutely
still some of them that are our age
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00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:05.040
are like, oh you're you're you're
pushing ten years older than what you really
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00:06:05.079 --> 00:06:10.839
are. I don't really do the
whole Facebook thing, but like, I
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have seen pictures of the people that
I grew up with, and you know,
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00:06:16.519 --> 00:06:23.319
and they look good, they look
good, but they definitely look older.
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And the thing is is that I
don't. You don't look older,
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you don't feel older. I both, I don't look older, and I
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00:06:35.639 --> 00:06:43.000
don't feel older, and I swear
I am not being narcissistic. I don't
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look anywhere close to fifty. And
that is not just me saying that,
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like strangers who have no skin in
the game have said that to me.
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I recently, somewhat recently, within
the last couple of months, I had
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a networking lunch and during a lunch, age came up and so I said,
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I said, yeah, well,
I'm turning fifty this year, and
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they both thought I was lying,
and there was no reason for them to
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say that. So this is not
just like a me thing, like I
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00:07:14.279 --> 00:07:17.839
do not look like I am even
close to fifty. I have to say,
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00:07:17.959 --> 00:07:21.920
you never realize until you become these
ages that when that comes up,
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00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:26.600
because I had that happened about a
year ago when we were talking and they
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thought that I was in my late
thirties early forties, and I it was.
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So it was a year ago,
and I'm like, turning forty eight
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next week, and oh, your
card just went out today in the mail,
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just so you know, like you'll
keep an eye on it, because
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the way things have been going in
the mail, I may get it,
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00:07:45.480 --> 00:07:53.759
you know, Mother's Day, fourth
of Delay right before the pandemic, I
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stopped at wah wah Okay coffee and
for cigarettes, and I don't I don't
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00:08:01.079 --> 00:08:03.319
know what was going on that day. There was like one line open,
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00:08:03.839 --> 00:08:09.360
and that one line it stretched all
the way back to the like the end
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00:08:09.360 --> 00:08:11.079
of the store. I don't know. I have no idea why they didn't
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00:08:11.079 --> 00:08:16.759
open up the second line. I
was so annoyed by the time I reached
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00:08:16.279 --> 00:08:20.920
the cashier, I put down my
coffee, I asked for my cart and
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00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:26.759
his cigarettes, and the guy behind
the counter asked to see my ID right
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00:08:26.959 --> 00:08:31.879
for the pandemic. Forty seven years
old, so okay, kind of cute,
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00:08:31.559 --> 00:08:37.240
except unfortunately I had only brought in
my debit card with me, So
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I said to him, I assure
you I am most certainly older than twenty
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00:08:46.559 --> 00:08:52.399
one. You can you can sell
me the cigarettes. It really, it's
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00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:56.960
okay. Only he said to me, no, I really need to see
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00:08:56.960 --> 00:09:01.320
your ID. So this went from
like I'm a cute ha ha ha,
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00:09:01.559 --> 00:09:05.679
that's funny, to like, not
cute at all. But I'm like,
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00:09:05.519 --> 00:09:11.320
dude, I'm forty seven. I
have a kid who's probably older than you,
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00:09:11.960 --> 00:09:18.759
Like, my mortgage is older than
you. Believe me, you can
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00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:24.519
sell me the fucking cigarettes. And
he's stuck to it. He's like,
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00:09:24.799 --> 00:09:33.000
I'm sorry, I need to see
your ID, manja. So for as
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00:09:33.080 --> 00:09:37.159
long as this line is, I'm
now the one who's holding it up.
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00:09:37.440 --> 00:09:43.279
This very sweet man behind me says, like, think of it this way.
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00:09:45.279 --> 00:09:50.200
How often are you mistaken for being
twenty one? It's really actually a
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00:09:50.240 --> 00:10:00.360
compliment, totally playing into my vanity. I know he's playing into my vanity.
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00:10:00.440 --> 00:10:05.279
It doesn't matter. He's playing into
my vanity. He was a very
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00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:15.720
smart man and it worked. I'll
be back with my ID. Sorry,
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00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:22.919
walk out of the store, get
the ID with ID in hand. I
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00:10:22.240 --> 00:10:33.279
wait in this incredibly one still only
one line open, right, finally make
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00:10:33.320 --> 00:10:39.759
it to the front of this line. I tick off my sunglasses. I
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00:10:39.039 --> 00:10:48.159
slam down my ID and I say, here's my ID forty seven, just
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00:10:48.519 --> 00:10:54.600
like I told you my carton of
cigarettes. Please. And he looked at
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00:10:54.639 --> 00:10:58.559
me, not the ID, and
he says, oh, sorry, ma'am,
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00:11:00.159 --> 00:11:05.320
I'll get that for you. Now. You went to mam and you
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00:11:05.480 --> 00:11:13.639
came that age back. Sorry,
man, like even ma'am today, I'm
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00:11:13.679 --> 00:11:18.679
like, I'm not ady, please
don't mam me. Uh. He was
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00:11:18.799 --> 00:11:24.159
just like parting me. So I'm
know what, like, how is he
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00:11:24.759 --> 00:11:30.279
not looking at the ID? That
he didn't look at it? That he
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00:11:30.440 --> 00:11:35.480
just forced me to get He forced
me out of the store to get the
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00:11:35.559 --> 00:11:43.000
ID and wait in this exceptionally long
line, Like the fuck what is happening?
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00:11:43.600 --> 00:11:52.559
He wrung me up without looking at
the ID. He made me get
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00:11:52.000 --> 00:11:58.879
so I say, um, what
aren't you looking? And then ah,
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00:12:00.000 --> 00:12:15.799
it's me with my sunglasses on.
I looked young. Oh with them off,
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00:12:16.399 --> 00:12:26.039
I must have looked what Yeah,
and you were big sunglasses. So
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00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:31.639
not that you have wrinkles, but
big sunglasses cover a myriad of issues.
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00:12:31.440 --> 00:12:43.399
Peak black sunglasses. We're gonna take
a quick break and we'll be right back.
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00:12:46.480 --> 00:13:07.279
So clearly this cashier is calling me
old les, poor boys, you
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00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:09.399
know, the poor boys. Following
is first thing he's thinking. I'm just
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00:13:09.519 --> 00:13:20.879
doing my job, job, I
am throwing. Okay, another Wala experience.
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00:13:22.480 --> 00:13:28.440
But throughout the pandemic, I stopped
going to like all unnecessary places,
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00:13:28.559 --> 00:13:33.399
and that includes Wahwa. So throughout
the last two years, I think I
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00:13:33.440 --> 00:13:39.879
had gone to Wawa all of like
two times. And I used to go
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00:13:39.960 --> 00:13:46.000
there every single day for a cup
of coffee and maybe twice a day,
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00:13:46.240 --> 00:13:52.559
but over the last two years,
one of those dinormous bats of coffee thing
135
00:13:52.600 --> 00:13:58.799
going forty some ounces, like yeah, two weeks ago, maybe three weeks
136
00:13:58.840 --> 00:14:03.639
ago, two three, I don't
know. Um. I had to take
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00:14:03.679 --> 00:14:09.679
my little one over to the dentist, and our way home from the dentist
138
00:14:09.399 --> 00:14:16.879
we literally pass my wah Wah and
as I'm approaching, I'm trying to decide
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00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:24.879
Wawa no wah Wa wa Wa no
wah wah. And I needed to decide
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00:14:24.919 --> 00:14:26.799
quickly because if I'm going to Wahwa, I need to be in the left
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00:14:26.840 --> 00:14:31.679
lane. And I go to the
left. I'm going to go to wah
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00:14:31.759 --> 00:14:39.200
Wah. I have not had the
mocha alert in like again, I've had
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00:14:39.240 --> 00:14:43.480
it twice in two years. So
I'm gonna go to Wahwa. So I
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00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:48.879
go and I fill up my coffee, and since I was there, I
145
00:14:50.000 --> 00:14:54.480
figured I might as well get a
carton of cigarettes. So the woman behind
146
00:14:54.519 --> 00:15:03.360
the counter asked my ID. Now
I'm nine years old, okay, and
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00:15:03.679 --> 00:15:09.399
I laugh outright. Only this time
I take it as a compliment because I
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00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:15.000
do have my ID on me.
But I ask her for real, like
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00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:20.840
I say, I say to her
like seriously, I turn fifty this year
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00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:30.000
and she says, no, you
don't, and I say I do,
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00:15:30.639 --> 00:15:37.679
I really really do. And she
says, you definitely don't look it.
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00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:45.200
Well, that is very nice of
you, but I think we can both
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00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:52.879
admit that I also don't look anywhere
close to twenty one. So she explains
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00:15:52.919 --> 00:16:03.559
to me anyone questionable they had id. So I'm confused because I am not
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00:16:03.600 --> 00:16:11.960
even questionably close to twenty one.
So what their thing is is questionable is
156
00:16:11.039 --> 00:16:19.600
considered if you look thirty or younger, they need to ide you. And
157
00:16:19.639 --> 00:16:23.919
I'm like, so you think I
look thirty or younger? And she said
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00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:32.399
I do, and I said it's
said. Okay, you must always remember
159
00:16:32.519 --> 00:16:38.600
this moment. This is a very
special moment in time. Your mother is
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00:16:38.679 --> 00:16:45.919
turning fifty this year, and I
was carted. And he says, I
161
00:16:47.039 --> 00:16:49.679
don't know what any of that means. Looking at your life, you're out
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00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:55.000
of your mind, and this is
a big it's a big moment for me.
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00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:59.360
Okay, it's a big moment.
So I to try to explain this
164
00:16:59.480 --> 00:17:03.600
to him and he cuts me off
and says, can I just say I
165
00:17:03.639 --> 00:17:10.240
really don't care? Oh no,
no, he won't care. Until you
166
00:17:10.279 --> 00:17:14.720
know, in another thirty or forty
years when he gets parted or someone thinks
167
00:17:14.759 --> 00:17:19.039
that he's ten or fifteen years younger. We all get that way when I
168
00:17:19.160 --> 00:17:22.119
when I told my nieces and nephews, take your naps now, because when
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00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:26.000
you've become an adult, you can't
do it, and none of them is
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00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:27.799
to take their naps. And now
I talk to like my oldest niece and
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00:17:27.839 --> 00:17:30.880
I'm like, I told you to
take your naps. She's like, yeah,
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00:17:30.880 --> 00:17:37.079
I wish I had done that.
I'm like, say, I arrange
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00:17:37.279 --> 00:17:41.599
my clients around my nap schedule.
I take a nap every single day.
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00:17:41.720 --> 00:17:47.400
It is as important for me to
nap as it is to see clients and
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00:17:47.480 --> 00:17:52.400
make money. Just saying okay,
I haven't taken a nap in years,
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00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:56.920
So I don't know. I feel
very sorry for you because I look forward
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00:17:56.920 --> 00:18:02.039
to my knaps every single day.
So I kind of just want to go
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00:18:02.200 --> 00:18:07.720
back for a minute, because I
don't I really don't know how I could
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be old enough to have a child
who's an adult. And by the way,
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00:18:14.039 --> 00:18:22.960
you know how on kids birthdays it's
their day, like they get present,
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00:18:22.519 --> 00:18:30.839
they get cake, they are celebrated. Everyone claps and sings happy birthday
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00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:37.279
to them. I think all mommies
are going to understand what I'm about to
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say. As I'm smiling and clapping
and happy for my kids, what I'm
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really thinking is why aren't they clapping
for me? All my kids did was
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live, Yes you want that.
Yeah, I'm the one who kept them
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alive. It was all me,
all me, and it's a fucking hard
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ass job. So all of you
people turn around and clap for me.
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My kid made it to adulthood because
I'm the one who got him there.
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I am fucking amazing, like maybe
even perhaps the best mother in the world.
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And yes, I know many many
other mothers have done this before me,
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and many many will do this after
me, and I get that.
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But here's the thing. We are
oh amazing, like every single one of
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us. We are incredible human beings. I am be on impressed with myself
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and I still have like one way
to go and it's fucking exhausting and I
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don't know how I do it.
So for all the mommies out there who
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have reached the milestone of keeping your
child alive and even thriving to adulthood,
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good for you. Like major paddle
in the back, like forget about singing
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for your kid and clapping for your
kid, pet yourself on the back,
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and like, Okay, well,
my little boy is now a man,
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and I mean like a man who's
afraid to kill spiders, but a man
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all the same. And I just
want to take a moment because I am
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so unbelievably proud of who he has
has become. He has achieved something that
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most adults in life haven't achieved.
This kid, oh god, this kid
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adult has managed to create balance in
his life, which I think in general,
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most people can't do. He wow
the school and comes home and does
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his homework, and he works like
five days a week, and he has
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managed to save so much money.
And he hangs out with his guy friends,
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and he makes a point of hanging
out with his girlfriend, and he
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still records music. Like he has
created balance in his life. And I'm
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so proud of him, and so
like he's becoming this unbelievable, this wonderful,
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incredible man person. And so as
life continues to change, right,
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and I'm not really sure now as
he's an adult, you know what this
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new dynamic is going to be like
and how the roles in this household and
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outside of this household, and how
everything is going to change. I think
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one thing within this conversation has brought
me some comfortlet and what is that that?
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At least I can always count the
wawas it's the constant. I can
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always go to Wah Wah for their
moocha alert coffee and make it through your
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day and make it through the day. That is, everything else is changing
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so fucking rapidly, I can always
go to blah wah God. Oh,
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So that is that time keeps flying
by, but we remain by bayh bay
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00:23:33.000 --> 00:23:40.480
my bay. You can reach us
at Voyage Media at Twitter, Instagram,
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00:23:40.480 --> 00:23:45.160
and on Facebook, and you can
reach out directly to me at Panicked Remy
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00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:48.640
on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
