Car Blindness

WEBVTT

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Welcome to my weekly panic Attack.
I'm your host, Remy Brooks. I've

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been a licensed psychotherapist for over twenty
years and run a thriving private practice.

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I'm also diagnosed s bipolar an OCD. Often the two do not mix well,

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which tends to throw my life into
complete chaos. So as I do

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some spiraling, my best friend Liz
win will do her best to ground me

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a bit. During this podcast,
we'll be talking about the horror and the

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humor of the anxieties of daily life, the things we do that are embarrassing,

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funny but yet very human. Let's
get started, and there's no better

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way to get started than by beginning
this episode and all episodes with my friend

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and co host, the beautiful,
intelligent, and ever rational Liz When.

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How are you, Liz good?
How are you doing? Remy? Well,

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I'm actually a little stressed out.
I'm not feeling great today. We're

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going to be talking about something that's
kind of serious and can actually really get

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me into trouble, like legal trouble. And this just happened last week,

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So not feeling great, but we'll
talk about that. SKA. Okay,

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First, here's a well adjusted moment
from Liz's life. I made a driving

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r I almost exited the shopping center. Are going in the wrong direction when

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another woman was driving in. You
know, I caught it. I stopped

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and I waved her on. She
was in the right of way. I

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was absolutely wrong. However, she
mistook my wave and thought that I gave

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her the finger. She then dead
stopped her car, got out and started

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yelling and screaming and cursing at me. Okay, so let me guess then

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you really gave her the finger and
made sure your screams were much louder than

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hers. Right, No, Remy, you know I was the one who

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would have looked like an idiot,
so I just waved her goodbye and drove

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off. Well, of course you
did, and this has been a well

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adjusted moment from Liz's life. Guess
what time it is, Liz, What

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time is it? It's time I'm
for me to tell you what the hell

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I'm stressed out about now? So
what is it this week? Oh?

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God, Hi, my name is
Remy and I break into cars. That's

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really not the way to introduce yourself
to people. But okay, Liz,

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it just happened again last week.
Oh God, thankfully the police were not

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called, but this latest incident.
After this happened, I began to reflect,

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and during this reflection, I realized
that this is a pattern that has

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existed throughout my entire driving life.
Now, as a therapist, I have

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gone through the DSM cover to cover, so I feel like I can wholeheartedly

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say that I am not this,
that this is not a DSM diagnosis.

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I have many mental health diagnoses,
but this isn't one of them. I'm

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also pretty sure that this is not
a medical diagnosis. And yet this is

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a real thing, but it can't
possibly be a remy thing. So what

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is this diagnosis? Okay, Okay, this is what is it called?

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Okay, hold on, because I
really think that many people experience this,

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even though I have never ever heard
anybody talk about this, and this happens

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to me in many different kind of
ways. So this is what I characterize

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it. I characterize it all under
one right umbrella, and I characterize it

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as a term that does not exist. And you ask me what I call

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it? What do you call it? I call it car blindness. And

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again I really need to emphasize that
while it's not in the DSM, and

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I don't think it's a medical diagnosis. I am not making this up.

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It is a real thing. Are
you practicing this for like the cops the

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next time they actually are called?
No, although now that you mentioned it,

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I really should like rehearse this a
little bit so that I do have

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it on hand for when the cops
are called. That is actually a very

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good idea. I am turning fifty
this year, and this kind of stuff

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has been happening to me throughout all
of my driving years, beginning with the

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very first year I got my driver's
license at sixteen, and I think that's

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the story that I want to share
with you today. Okay, okay,

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So when I was sixteen, I
borrowed my dad's white Maxima to drive you

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all of four blocks to seven eleven. We had a chocolate brown lab named

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Sassy, who was possibly the greatest
car companion ever. I took her with

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me everywhere I drove, so obviously
she accompanied me on this trip to seven

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eleven. And the trip was very
uneventful. We arrived, I parked,

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I went into the store, I
got whatever it was I was there for.

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I exited, I went back to
my dad's car. Do you remember

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back in the day. How you
had to lock and unlock doors before we

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had key fobs, Yes, with
the actual key. Yeah, you had

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to actually put the key in the
key slot and turn it to unlock it.

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So you remember, do you remember
that? Okay? So I got

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to my dad's car, and I
put the key in the key slot and

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I unlocked the door. I buckled
up, I put the key in the

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ignition, and I drove home,
you know, the four blocks, A

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totally uneventful trip home. Now,
I grew up in the row homes of

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northeast Philadelphia, so all parking was
parallel parking, and I was lucky enough

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to have a space open right in
front of the house, and I parallel

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parked be beautifully, jackpot beautifully exactly. Now, you know, being born

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in Philly and driving in Philly,
when one does an amazing job parallel parking,

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there's like a bit of a high
that comes with that. So I

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was feeling that particular high as I
got out of the car and locked the

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car behind me. Only that high
didn't last very long. Why is that?

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My dad happened to have been outside
talking to the neighbors when he saw

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me get out of the car,
so he was impressed with your parking job.

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Right, No, he was not. He instead said whose car is

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that? What? Yeah? I
too was confused, but I was confused

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because my father was not an idiot. So I asked him, what kind

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of question is that? It's your
car? No, it is not.

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Where's my car? Keep it?
He was angry, Liz, He was

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very, very angry. But I
truly didn't understand because this was his car.

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He grabbed the keys from my hand, told me to get into the

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passenger seat. He got into the
driver's seat, and he asked me,

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where is my car? Confused,
I mean be and confused, but I

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did manage to tell him that I
had just come from seven to eleven and

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so oh no. We drove for
the longest four or block drive of my

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entire life. You didn't notice that
this car has leather seats, and Hours

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doesn't, No, I said,
with the shaking board. But Dad,

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the key fit. You didn't notice
that this car has automatic locks and windows

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and Hours doesn't. Tears tears,
Liz tears, Well, up, Dad

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the key fit. You didn't notice
that this car has a sunroof, and

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Hours doesn't. I never looked up. Oh my god, is a farrent

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like a fifty story building. He
didn't get to the best part. Where's

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the dog? Okay, it's coming, it's coming. So I just repeat

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but but that, but that,
but that, but but that the key

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fit. We're gonna take a quick
break and we'll be right back, Liz.

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He takes a breath, a long
a, a long, deep breath,

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and then he asks me, where's
Sassy. I think my heart stopped

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for much longer than what would be
considered healthy, because Sassy was his dog

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like he liked her a lot.
Oh my god, did he love her.

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I mustered up all the faith I
had ever had that perhaps there really

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was a God, and I slowly
look in the back of his car that

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I now know is not my fathers, and I search for Sassy, who

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was so obviously not there, and
I somehow squeak out she must be in

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the car that I left at seven
eleven. Oh oh no, oh,

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no, you left Sassie. Now
you see, you have to understand there

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was a hierarchy in our family.
We all knew it, we accepted it.

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My dad loved Sassy above all of
us. Then came my mother,

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right, and then it was my
sister and I we were tied for last

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place, last place after your dog
and the mom exactly, which which was

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fine. You know, it was
just it was the way it was right.

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If my father had been a violent
man, that there would have been

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the end of me. And so, you know, I actually suppose in

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that moment, I really did realize
that there must be a god because my

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father did not kill me, and
that was the true miracle of the day.

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After seeing my life flash before my
eyes, we pulled into the seven

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to eleven parking lot to fine mind
multiple police cars. Oh my god,

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uh huh wow. The man whose
car I advertantly in it, advertantly stole,

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inadvertently set it doesn't help putting the
inadvertently in front of it to the

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police. It does, Liz,
it does. And then there were many

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many people who were just standing by
watching how this whole thing was going to

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play out. Meanwhile, I was
terrified as I realized that I was going

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to prison for auto the ff at
sixteen. Uh yeah, yeah. My

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dad jumped out of the car,
jumps out, screams for me to do

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the exact same. He runs to
his car in order to calm Sassy down,

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who must have been very traumatized by
all of this. I assure you,

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Liz, it was not Sassy who
was traumatized. Yes, exactly.

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Sassy needed no calming down. She
was beyond thrilled by all of the attention

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she was receiving from all of her
new police friends and all of her new

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stranger friends. She was having a
great day, maybe one of the best

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days of her life. Unlike you, I stood next to the inadvertent stolen

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her car, trying very hard to
enjoy what was probably my last few moments

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of freedom before I would be put
behind bars, quite possibly for the rest

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of my life. My father still
comforting Sassy, who was so busy wagging

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her tail and giving kisses to everyone. At some point, notice that all

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the police, all of them and
there were many, were staring at him.

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So what does he do. He
points his finger directly at me and

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says, she's the one who stole
the car. Your father dimed you out

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to the cops. Why, yes, he did. And now ow they're

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all looking at me, And I
very vividly remember, sort of like a

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montage of my childhood, all of
the times my daddy told me, honey,

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you will always be safe with me. I would throw myself in front

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of a moving bus for you,
And here he is throwing me under the

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bus. Yeah he threw and he
threw you under and then rolled backwards on

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yah. Yeah, with no hesitation, may I add ah? And I

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slowly, very slowly approached the mob
hanging around my father's car, because clearly

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the police one answers it was all
just a misunderstanding. I explained, there

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was no malaitant. I wasn't trying
to steal the car. I left seven

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to eleven and there were two white
Maximus parked right next to each other.

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They looked exactly the same. There
was absolutely no possible way to tell them

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apart. I thought it the sunroof
and the interior. Do you have to

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bring that up as because the cops
brought it up? You need to throw

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it in my face to Liz and
you were a friend, this is what

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you do, I tell them.
I walked up to the first car,

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thinking it was my dad's. I
mean, had the other guy come out

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first, he very easily could have
made the exact same mistake. And the

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door was locked. I needed to
use the key and guess what the key

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fit, so there was no reason
to question this, I got into the

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car, I used the key to
turn it on again. The key it

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turned on the car. This was
really, if you think about it,

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not my fault could have happened to
anyone. And then, like you pointed

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out the obvious car, The police, the owner of the other car,

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and my dad all told me of
the many, many differences between the two

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cars, most notably the fact that
my father's car had a very large dog

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sticking half her body out the window. You know what, Fine, Fine,

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Okay, let's just say that we
all made good points. I apologized,

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I truly and sincerely apologized. The
thing is, Liz, this happened

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over thirty years ago, right,
and I am still stuck on the fact

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that the key and no one seemed
to care except me. Do you know

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if my kid came home in the
wrong car but the key fit, I

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would totally get it. I wouldn't
be the least bit angry. I still

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have no idea why everybody was so
angry about this. I don't get it.

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The only way even today that I
know which car is mine is because

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it's the only car parked in my
driveway, but in a public parking lot.

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Forget it. It's always a guessing
game, and I try to set

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my car apart from others to make
things easier for me. I have in

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the front have a pink, fuzzy
steering wheel cover, so like I can

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tell my car from the front.
Okay, that's a no mess. Yes,

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And on the back I have different
magnets so I can tell my car

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from the back. But honestly,
sometimes I win and sometimes I still lose.

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Anyway, Ultimately, the rightful owner
of the other Maxima took his car

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drove away. There was no charges
against me. I wasn't going to prison,

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Thank god, this whole thing was
ending. At this point, my

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dad, Sassy, and I were
the only ones left, with just one

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police officer who needed to conclude this
report right. And my father asked the

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cop if he and Sassy could leave
without me, without you. He was

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going to leave you behind, leave
without me because he couldn't stand the sight

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of me in that moment. And
I stood there and cried because, by

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the way, that was not the
most stupid thing I had ever done.

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Things like this they happen to me. My dad should not have been unable

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to stand the sight of me.
I've done worse I promise, and never

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on purpose. You know me,
You know me. For so long,

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things just hap exactly. They just
happened. They happened then, and they

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happen now. And so my dad
and Sassy left me with the cop.

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Now, this very nice police officer
asked me if I wanted a ride home,

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which I did. That was very
nice of him. It was very

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nice of him. So he opened
his back door and he rolled down the

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window for me, and I look
at him kind of appalled God, and

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I asked him, can't I sit
in the front with you because the back

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is like for criminals. You did
just steal your he reminded me, Yeah,

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good point. So I get into
the back seat of the police car.

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Hey, at least he didn't cuff
you. He did not. And

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I stick my head out the window, just like Sassi had done a few

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minutes earlier. And as the police
officer begins to drive me home, I

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said, hey, just so you
know, the key fit. See,

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this is just one form of car
blindness. I truly could not tell the

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difference between the two cars. They
looked exactly the same to me. Throughout

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my entire you're driving life, I
have had many, many experiences with car

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blindness, and they've taken like different
forms than this particular story, but they

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all fall under the umbrella of car
blindness, and it's a problem. Now

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I can look back at the story
and I can see how I just really

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wasn't paying attention. I absolutely should
have noticed a large dog sticking your body

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out of the car. That is
noticeable the leather seats. But that's the

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thing, I really I didn't see
it. I truly did not see any

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differences to the exterior were the interior
of these cars. And this happens time

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and time again. Last week there
was yet another incident which easily could have

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led to yet another police encounter.
And I've had a couple. I mean,

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I'm glad you're you're getting this.
You're getting good at the If the

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key fits, you must acquit theory
on the law. It's working for you.

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But I don't understand in the same
and age, there aren't keys.

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They're all key vobs, yes,
yes, oh, and yet I am

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still managing to break into cars.
It's it's an issue. So I don't

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know what this is called. I've
like researched the hell out of this,

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and it's definitely not called carblindness.
I think that's what it should be called.

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Since I haven't found the correct name
for it, that's what I'm calling

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it. And I am absolutely positive
that I am not the only person who

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experiences this. That just it can't
be. This is absolutely a real thing.

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This has to be a real thing. So if anybody else experiences car

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blindness in any type of way,
or if you know what the real name

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is, or if you've actually gotten
yourself in real trouble, because I know

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it's only a matter of time before
I do, can you please let us

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know your story. I kind of
need to know that I am not alone

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in this. This is a real
thing, right, Maybe you'll get some

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validation from someone else who has had
this issue, that is what I'm looking

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for. Or maybe you've just discovered
something new and you can write to the

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Psychological Society and have it called the
REMI carblindness disease. No, it's not

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new. It is a real thing. It is a real thing that many

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others suffer with as well. I'm
positive of that. I just haven't met

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anybody else. I haven't heard any
stories. I need to hear stories.

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You can reach us at Voyage Media
at Twitter, Instagram, and on Facebook.

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00:29:47.759 --> 00:29:52.680
And you can reach out directly to
me at Panicked Remy on Twitter,

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Instagram, and Facebook.