Domino

WEBVTT

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Hey, Mom, just calling to
say hi. I hope you're having a

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good day. I wish you'd answer. I have something cool to tell you

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about. I guess I'll just tell
your voicemail and you can listen and maybe

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call me later. So look,
as anyone can see, there's dark storms

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brewing in the markets, in the
financial world, and that's why crypto is

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going to be not just a passing
trend, but a new way of being

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to replace the old way we handle
money, like and upgrade your computer,

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but from money. That's the future. I'm thinking of starting an investment fund

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tied to it. I spoke to
one of my old college buddies who is

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literally a billionaire now, and he
verbally committed to put one hundred million in

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the fund. You know that's if
I do it. That's confidential. Anyway,

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I wish you'd answer. You know
what, I'm just going to hang

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up and call again. Maybe you
were on the other line and now you're

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free. Delete this voicemail, please
seriously delete it. Okay, Bye.

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I guess. My name is Nancy
Moon and I love my son. As

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a teenager, he was completely normal
until a terrible thing happened to him,

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a crime of extreme vandalism and he
was never the same again. I'm sharing

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his story and the hope that it
helps others in a similar situation. Nancy

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is not her real name. Out
of respect for Nancy and her son's privacy,

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we are not using their real names
in this podcast. As a child,

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my son was gregarious, funny,
bright, very engaging with other people

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all the time, loved animals,
loved children. Was always sort of the

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center of attention. And as he
got into his middle years after twelve is

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where really we moved from California to
Idaho. He was very involved in sports,

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always a line hockey, soccer,
and even got involved with football.

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Even though he wasn't the biggest,
he was still the best kicker they'd ever

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seen. His grades were straight a's, top of the class, president of

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his class in his junior year.
There was nothing that ever indicated there was

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anything going on with Brad. That's
why it was such an incredible shock to

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find out thirteen years ago he had
had this incredibly horrible bullying situation that ended

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up setting him back right up to
this day. On this podcast, we

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talk about crimes murder, financial crimes, crimes of abuse, but sometimes something

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that might technically be a misdemeanor of
property crime, can be just as damaging

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psychologically as a traditional felony. That
was the case with Brad, Nancy's son.

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Brad was, as I said,
very engaged in school. He had

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a girlfriend and she was actually president
of her class and prettiest girl in the

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school, prima ballerina. So the
two of them were quite a couple that

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were looked up to, and they
were both very smart and liked by many

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people. And when Brad was fifteen
sixteen, his father and I were going

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through some challenges with our marriage,
actually ended up getting divorced, but he

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stayed with his father and he had
a place to stay with me, so

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we saw each other regularly and there
was nothing that indicated anything was wrong.

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I mean, as I said,
he was the normal kid and still laughing.

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But that age of fifteen sixteen is
a precarious time anyway for any young

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adult. So after the divorce,
Brad's father wanted him to go to California

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because he wanted him to go to
college at a school in California and study

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film, which his dad had done, and unbeknownst to me, even though

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he was president of his class,
his junior year. He was going to

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move him to California in his senior
year, and I tried to fight it,

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but was told legally I was not. Didn't have any grounds to stand

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on. So he went to California
and graduated valedictorian and school there, continued

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with his sports, stayed with his
older sister. Mom. Hi, California

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is nice. Why did we ever
leave? No offense to Idaho? But

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come on, and you're best known
for potatoes, had stuff to compete with

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the West Coast. I went to
the beach with dad. It was good.

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You should come visit anyway, call
me when you get a chance.

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December fifth of that year, in
two thousand and three, he called me

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and told me that his father had
passed away on the mountain, and without

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going into all those details, it
was a big shock to everyone. So

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this is Brad now without a father, in his first year in college.

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And when I saw him, and
when I talked to him, he seemed

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very introverted. He did not seem
like the same Brad that I had known

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growing up. I took him on
trips, I called him on a regular

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basis, I went to see him, I did things with him, but

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he was definitely not the same Brad. He'd sort of started walking with his

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shoulders over, letting himself go a
bit, and I would look for drugs

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and see if there was anything that
might have been reinforcing his strange behavior,

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and I didn't find anything. He
was living with a bunch of guys on

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the campus at UCSB and Santa Barbara, and then we had a family wedding

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in Arizona after he'd graduated from college. He went through college and I didn't

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have to see grades or anything.
But later on we went to a wedding

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in Arizona, and I finally said, Brad, where are you? You

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know what's going on? He didn't
talk very much, he didn't share anything.

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I would ask questions, he would
give me a one word answer.

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He would be very vague and evasive, and it was so unlike him.

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And I finally I was taking him
to He loved cars, and I was

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taking him to a car museum,
and I finally said, Brad, where

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are you? Where are you?
What's going on? And he said,

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Mom, I know you love me
and I appreciate everything you do, but

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could you just give me five minutes
of your time every day? I said,

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I'll give you five hours whatever you
want. I said, you know

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what's happening, And then he proceeded
to tell me about what had happened to

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him when he was fifteen years old
in Idaho at the high school and he

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was bullied by a couple of his
teammates, one of whom used to stay

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at our house spend the night with
a lot of the guys from different from

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the teams, and Brad would go
over to his house and stay there as

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well. They were very close friends. Unfortunately, this young man who was

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one of the bulliers was a big
bullier as well, to the point that

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we wouldn't even allow him to come
on to any of the sports events and

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when we'd travel and go for hockey
or soccer. And so Brad had been

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carrying this around with him for oh
over eight years. And on top of

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that, he'd had his father die
and I ended up being in an automobile

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accident. But these young men,
they didn't do anything physical, according to

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Brad. When he shared with me, he said that they had broken the

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windshield on his car. They had
pete and defecated on his car, and

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he owned it. He said,
I was a jerk. I deserved it.

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I was the bad guy, and
so I've changed my personality. Tried

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to assure him that it wasn't him, and he made reference to all these

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things that what a bad kid he
was as a child, which he wasn't.

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Lots of things that were more negative
that were reinforcing his reasoning for having

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these guys bully him and do what
they did to him. In any event,

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I was devastated and basically pulled over
to the side of the road when

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he told me this thirteen years ago
and said we've got to get help,

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and I was just I said,
I'm just so sorry. If Brad didn't

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feel comfortable telling his mother about this
incident, did he tell his father?

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I don't know. I mean,
he could have told his father a little

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white lie, because if he'd told
his father what had happened, and his

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father knowing the father of the young
man that did this, I'm afraid that

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would have been His dad was a
bit of a pain in the tail to

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people. Anyway. He was a
wonderful man, but he just didn't know

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when to shut up, and he
would have been very aggressive. And he

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was the older father of the group
anyway, and so Brad probably wouldn't either.

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He would have told him a little
white lie about it and gotten it

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fixed. His dad probably would have
gotten it fixed for him. According to

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Nancy, after his father's death and
everything else that happened to Brad, he

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was resistant to get help. When
his father passed away and I went to

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California to see him, and obviously
he was very, very upset. And

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the night before the service, he
was staying up and I could just I

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could hear him crying the bathroom next
to the room I was staying, and

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he was writing a eulogy for the
memorial service. And he wrote a ten

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minute eulogy that was beautiful and had
every one of us in tears from the

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most part the whole time, he
handled those moments. But after when I

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took him, after he graduated from
college to to a y, I mean

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he was I used to call him
the turtle because he just from being this

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aggressive, go get kit person,
he became just a slow mo joe who

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was in another world. Brad was
now living in the LA area, and

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so this therapist that I tried to
get him to go to, who was

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very expensive, even agreed to lower
his price. But Brad was conveyed that

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these guys were just more out for
the money, that they really didn't care

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about him or anything else. And
it was he went to this guy a

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couple of times, and I had
filled in the therapist the full background on

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Brad, sent photographs and all of
that so that he would be well versed

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in his background. But Brad didn't
want to continue going. And yet he

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continued to recognize that he needed help
and he agreed to get it, but

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he wanted it on his terms without
paying a lot of money because he just

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didn't believe they were worth it and
they were going to do anything. So

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it became just not getting the help. We never really have gotten him truly

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diagnosed. We contacted doctor Nsha Tendon
from Elevation Behavioral Health in California and presented

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her with a timeline of brad symptoms
as well as a patient history. You'll

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hear her diagnosis later in this episode. A brief stint in Virginia where his

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brother in law took him under his
wing and got him into a place that

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they were able to diagnose to a
degree based on a brief conversation and recognized

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that he was definitely they didn't identify
it as schizophrenia or bipolar. But because

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Brad was so distant, the only
thing he said, if he could be

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anywhere in the world, he would
be on a desert island by himself.

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And they got him on a medication
called La tuta for a bet, but

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he didn't Brad didn't like taking any
of that stuff. So today Brad is

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thirty eight years old, not really
diagnosed, is not working, is living

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on the streets, is not willing
to get the help that I'm willing to

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pay for. I've tried bribing him, I've tried everything at this point,

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and I really don't know where to
go other than to continue to reinforce my

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love for him and remind him of
all of the God given gifts he has

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and talents, trying to persuade him
to step back into the real world.

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And so it's just a very tough, very challenging and exhausting situation for a

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mother, and for any parents,
for anybody that would have a relation that

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would have this. The craziest part
is I live in the town where the

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bullier lives, who happens to be
visible to me on a regular basis,

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and I have had to really restrain
myself from approaching him, approaching his family.

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But I know that's not going to
do any good. Nancy was clear

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that her son was kind hearted and
just in need of help. He's really

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a very kind, loving person,
and he wanted to hold hands at dinner

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and say Grace. We'd have candlelight
and we'd have music playing every night.

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He knew the kind of music I
liked, and we'd have these lovely dinners.

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And then as soon as there was
discussion about his work or his life,

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but I didn't agree that he would
become manic and rip out at me.

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When Brad's father died, he inherited
some money and he did buy a

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printing press. Bum. I know
you're worried, but it's actually a very

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simple business. You get a T
shirt printing press, it's called a heat

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press, a direct to garment printer, a cutter emulsion, a dryer,

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inks transfer paper. That's it,
and obviously a shirts. I found a

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warehouse where I can buy like ten
thousand shirts to start at old still costs.

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Then you go online and find out
what people are searching for, and

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you design a shirt that will match
search terms, and then you just sell

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the shirts super easy. Let's say
my profit margin is like six bucks of

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shirts, and I sell five hundred
shirts a day. That's three thousand a

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day in profit, twenty one thousand
a week, ninety two thousand a year.

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Even if I only sell like half
of that, even if I only

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sell one tenths of that, it's
still a pretty good source of supplementary revenue.

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That's right, supplementary because I haven't
told you about my big idea yet.

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I don't want to do that on
a windmill anyway, Buy mom,

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talk to you later. Then he
went to Vegas because he thought that that

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would be a good place to meet
people. And he drove limos where he

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had to talk to people, and
he was always very proud of the fact

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that he was able to converse with
another passenger, you know, and what

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he learned and how exciting that was. And then he really didn't care for

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that that much. And then he
had designed a car, well, it

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was actually it was a three wheeled
motorcycle. He's always spending times in libraries

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and reading things, and he had
researched a company that was down in Texas

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and gave them. Unfortunately, twenty
thousand dollars to start buying the parts because

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that day goodbye, and they ran
off with it. I'm sorry, it

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seems like you are feeling offended,
and I apologize. I just wish you

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would listen to me. I'm trying
to help you. I've learned so much

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settying the markets, and I can
help you. I gave my friend Richard

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investment advice, and he's doing really
great right now. I'm going on his

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boat for a couple of weeks,
so I won't have reliable self service,

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so you might not hear from me
for a little But please don't freak out.

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I'm fine anyway. I said sorry, right, sorry, bye.

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But it's only been in the last
oh I would say three four years that

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I think he's run out of the
money that he inherited and has pushed him.

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He doesn't want to ask for anything
from anybody, and so he now

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has pronounced himself as being home free
and x like living on the street is

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wonderful, and he's always talking about
the great ways to get food. Now

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this is bread. Does not drink, he does not do drugs. He

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will not eat sugar. He only
eats healthy stuff. Will not do bread,

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meat, and he told me about
Mom. You can't believe the things

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that the restaurants throw away. You
can't believe what's in the grocery in the

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back of the grocery stores, Mom, Mom. In Europe, people do

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this. It's a lifestyle. Maybe
I'm part Ramani. I should do an

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ancestry test. Not everyone wants to
have a house and be tied down.

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I'm free. That has its own
value. Yes it's not a traditional value.

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But I can go anywhere and not
worry someone's going to break into my

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house. If I want to go
to Australia tomorrow, I can. It's

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good for me to be outside,
out in the world. I don't expect

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you to understand it. I just
ask you to accept it anyway. By

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his personality, is that whether it's
the schizophrenia or bipolar that erupts in these

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manic behaviors where he's attacking me and
calling me dumb and calling me an alcoholic

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and you don't know this, and
you don't understand that, and you don't

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do anything. You know. He
doesn't have imaginary things. He's just evasive

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of what is appropriate in real life
living and responsibility. As on the streets

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in New York City. He sent
me a text, a desperation text,

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asking me to if I could fly
him out of New York as soon as

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possible, and said that he was
in a hospital and had gotten frostbite.

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And eventually I followed up was able
to talk to him in the hospital in

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Brooklyn, where he took himself.
Fortunately, evidently he was wearing like four

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pairs of socks with a pair of
soccer shoes or something and almost lost a

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foot. But he was in the
hospital for almost two months being treated for

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obviously a major, major frostbite,
to the point that he had to be

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in a wheelchair. He had to
be walkers. He was not able to

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walk. He had no feeling.
While he was there. The nurse has

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had explained, They said, is
there something wrong with him other than obviously

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being out on the streets. You
know, he's a really nice guy,

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but he does have some communication problems. We're going to get different doctors in

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and they were going to get a
therapist in. I said, I would

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love to get him diagnosed so that
I could get the proper medication. Unfortunately,

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it was not the best of places, and there were a number of

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people that were seeing him nobody ever
really diagnosed him or got him on any

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medication, and since it was COVID
time still, I was not able for

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me to fly out. I wouldn't
even be able to see him, and

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he couldn't get out of the hospital
because he was still healing for me to

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even fly him home. And eventually
one day he just walked out after he

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felt like he was healed enough,
and I don't know where he went.

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Mom, I left. It was
a waste of time. They just want

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money point in me being there.
I'm fine. I just need to be

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outside. You know, that's what
I need. Sunshine. Did you know

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sunshine gives you lower blood pressure?
It does nitric oxide. Sunlight makes your

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body send nitric oxide into your blood
and it brings down your blood pressure.

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It's supposed to be sunny this week. I just had a rough couple of

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months. That's all everybody's down sometimes, right, This was way overkill.

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I'm fine, mom. Really,
the friend of mine that was in bok

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Ratan, he was in the Miami
area and when he was down there,

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he told me that he'd gotten a
bicycle, and I said, well,

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how did you get a bicycle?
Knowing that he didn't have any money,

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And he said, well, I
saw one on a median strip, I

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said, Brad, that could have
belonged to somebody else. He said that

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he'd watched it for twenty four hours, that nobody had taken it. So

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he got it and realized that it
was broken, so he fixed it somehow

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to the point that I mean,
who knows where he got parts. He

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probably went to a bicycle shop and
looked in the trash can for parts.

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Maybe he got some help from a
guy there. In any event, my

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friend in Burke Raton had asked him
to come have lunch, not knowing what

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his situation was entirely, and so
Brad ended up riding his bicycle eight hours

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to Boco Raton to have lunch with
this man and the guys. The man

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that he had lunch was said that
he looked very healthy and was pretty coherent.

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Had lunch, and Brad jumped back
on his bicycle and rode back another

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eight hours to Miami. Doctor Tennon's
case conceptualization based on the information provided was

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that he it appears that the thirty
eight year old male may be struggling with

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symptoms of bipolar one disorder. This
disorder is characterized by episodes of mania,

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which can include impulsive spending, excessive
traveling, difficulty completing tasks, and impulsivity

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in relationships. It is also common
for individuals with bipolar one disorder to experience

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symptoms of depression. Brad meets the
criteria for bipolar one disorder, which is

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characterized by manic episodes that last at
least seven days or are severe enough to

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require immediate hospitalization. He also reported
symptoms of depression, including feelings of hopelessness

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and low mood. Treatment for bipolar
one disorder may include medication, therapy,

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and lifestyle changes. Specifically, the
client may benefit from medication to stabilized mood,

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cognitive behavioral therapy to address impulsive behaviors, and lifestyle changes to support mental

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health, such as regular exercise and
a healthy diet. Now he's back in

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the LA area, supposedly living with
a friend in Calabasas, and he gets

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himself to our old house in Agra
Hills where he goes by and he's been

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inquiring how much of the landscaping we
did. There was a little over an

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acre, and we had lots of
fruit trees and an English croquet field and

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a pond and all these things.
It was a great house that he has

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a lot of wonderful memories. He
keeps going back there. It's almost like

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he's grabbing every bit of his youth
with just you know, touching base and

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a space that was really good feelings. Mom, I got your messages.

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I just can't engage with negativity right
now. I know you wouldn't think of

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it as negativity. I know you'd
think of it as caring about me.

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But it's old stuff, like really
really old stuff. I'm about today,

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the future. I get stay chain
to bad energy from the past. We

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don't know what will happen next,
but I can't get into things that happened

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in the past. It's like a
weight on me, like a hot air

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balloon. Like if you have a
weight, you hang off it and it

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can't lift up. That's how I
feel about it. I'm not arguing.

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I just just don't worry. You
don't need to worry about me. Doctor

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Tendon noted that a mental health provider
can work with a client like Brad to

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develop a treatment plan that addresses all
of these concerns and supports the client and

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00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:30.160
achieving his goals for a stable and
fulfilling life. Furthermore, I was discussed

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that Brad has a history of being
bullied when he was fifteen years old and

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losing his father when who's eighteen.
These experiences may have had a significant impact

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on his mental health. Mom,
Remember we talked about Tesla Nicola Tesla.

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Tesla was talking about wireless communication in
eighteen ninety three. Tesla didn't want to

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be drafted into the Austro Hungarian Army, so he went into nature. He

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went into the mountains. Often he
would be out of contact with loved ones.

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His family didn't hear from him.
When he left university, people thought

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he was Actually Tesla just had too
much on his mind, too many things

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to create, too much to think
about. From the eighteen nineties to early

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00:28:07.720 --> 00:28:11.680
nineteen hundreds, he started trying to
figure out the transmission of electrical power without

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00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:15.079
wires. People thought he was nuts. They accused him of being a hoax,

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but he was just ahead of his
time. Do you ever think people

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can be born in the wrong times? Sometimes I wonder if I was born

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too late. Maybe I should have
been born in the seventies, or maybe

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I was born too early. I
don't know. There's just so much I

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want to do and I'm not sure
the world is designed the right way for

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me to be able to do it, but I want to try. At

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a treatment facility like doctor Tannon's Elevation
Behavioral Health, Brad could receive a comprehensive

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psychiatric evaluation, which would include a
clinical interview, mental status examination, and

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a review of medical records. Therapists
and a psychiatrist would utilize a combination of

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pharmacotherapy and psychotherapy address brad symptoms.
Brad could be prescribed mood stabilizers to manage

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his manic symptoms and receive psycho education
about the symptoms of bipolar disorder. A

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therapist could also utilize cognitive behavioral therapy
to help Brand identify and challenge negative thoughts

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and beliefs that contribute to his depression. The therapist and Brad would collaboratively develop

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a treatment plan that includes pharmacotherapy,
cognitive behavioral therapy, and mindfulness based interventions

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to address current triggers. In order
to support Brad, Mom, I started

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00:29:33.440 --> 00:29:36.599
an account for you. I'm going
to make some investments for you into emerging

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00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:40.240
tech. Three D printing. You
know about three D printing is incredible.

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00:29:40.319 --> 00:29:42.599
They can do anything, make anything, you can dream of you just plug

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00:29:42.599 --> 00:29:47.200
it into the computer and it creates
it. In five years, sixty seven

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00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:49.519
percent of the items we interact within
our lives will be three D printed.

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Delete this voicemail after you listen.
I'm excited, Mom. I need you

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00:29:55.160 --> 00:29:57.400
to please stop talking to me about
therapy and staying at that place and all

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00:29:57.440 --> 00:30:00.119
that. Okay, if you're going
to tell me about that kind of stuff,

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00:30:00.160 --> 00:30:03.400
please just don't call. It's not
a good use of our mutual time.

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00:30:03.839 --> 00:30:07.599
I'm not trying to be mean,
just deficient. It's inefficient at my

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00:30:07.720 --> 00:30:18.039
point. By I corresponded with him
on Eastern Troy or on Easter, I

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00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:22.359
did. And then when I was
going to the airport before on Monday,

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00:30:22.640 --> 00:30:26.440
I said, I'll be at the
airport tomorrow. Let's try and talk.

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00:30:26.559 --> 00:30:29.240
Because he said, you don't even
know what's going on with my business.

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00:30:29.319 --> 00:30:33.240
I said, I'd love to hear
catch me up. I'd love to hear

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00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:37.440
the details. Tell me a time
to call. And so when I got

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00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:42.440
to the airport and got settled in, I said, are you available to

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00:30:42.519 --> 00:30:49.440
talk, Let's catch up. He
hasn't responded, so I don't know whether

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00:30:49.720 --> 00:30:59.039
he's just avoiding the details, none
of which he has whether he's back.

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00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:08.480
I have answers, which is what
happens inevitably all the time, and uh

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00:31:10.160 --> 00:31:17.319
yeah, so that's where we are
right now, the unknowns. Mom.

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00:31:17.519 --> 00:31:19.759
I was thinking about you. The
sun was setting and it made me think

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00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:25.880
about you. I love you.
I hope you really know that. I

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00:31:25.920 --> 00:31:29.960
want you to be happy. I
want you to look at sunsets and be

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00:31:30.000 --> 00:31:38.240
happy. Good Night Mom. Allegedly
is a production of Voyage Media. The

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00:31:38.319 --> 00:31:42.519
series is produced by Natmandel, Robert
Maidas, and Dan Benamore. This episode,

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00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:47.559
Domino, was written, produced,
and directed by Dan Benamore, starring

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00:31:47.599 --> 00:31:52.440
Jonathan Jeeer as Brad Edited, sound
designed and mixed by Jackson mcclennan. Original

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00:31:52.519 --> 00:31:57.759
music by Derlis Gonzales. Special thanks
to doctor Nisha Tanden and Elevation Behavioral Health.

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00:31:59.119 --> 00:32:00.759
If you are a love one our
need of mental health support, we've

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00:32:00.799 --> 00:32:05.160
put their website link in the show
notes. If you're enjoying the show,

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00:32:05.400 --> 00:32:07.720
please give us a five star rating
on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you're listening,

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00:32:08.000 --> 00:32:10.079
and subscribe now for future episodes.