A Wretch Like Me

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You'd want to believe this sort of
thing could never happen to you, But

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let me tell you it can.
If it could happen to me, it

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could happen to anyone. I was
living a totally normal life, and just

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like that, I descended into a
how on earth? This is Nancy Major?

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One day in two thousand and one, she was working as an executive

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and married. Not too long after
that day, Nancy had lost her job,

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lost her marriage, and was working
as a prostitute. To understand Nancy's

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journey, you need to know where
she started. All that I really remember

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is he was in and out of
my life up until I was five years

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old. He was very abusive to
my mother. He was not great with

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me. He was not great with
a lot of people. He was an

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alcoholic, He was kind of a
gang banger guy. He was very young

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when I was born. The last
memory I have of him is him attacking

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my mom and starting to come after
me and one of my cousins, and

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him saying, I'm not your dad, I'm not your dad. Stop calling

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me your dad. I don't ever
want to see you again. So my

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stepfather entered the picture when I was
about six years old, only about a

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year after my biological father had abandoned
and said, you know, I never

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want to see you again. I'm
not your dad. So when my stepfather

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came into the picture, I was
really hungry for his affection. I really

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wanted him to love me. I
had a younger sister from we're both from

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the same biological father, but she
was just a baby, and he gravitated

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to her and just lashed on to
her. He seemed to really adore her,

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and she was, you know,
just as cute could be, and

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they really formed an attachment. He
did not like me from the outset,

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and it was very very clear to
me. I can remember going backward all

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the way from the beginning. He
was not He just did not want me.

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It would have been a much neater
and cleaner picture, I think in

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his mind to have had a new
little family unit with this little adorable baby

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girl, and then he and my
mother had a child together, and now

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he had the perfect little family.
But it always was he would refer to

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it as this is Nancy, and
then my daughter and my son, so

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it was always my kids and then
this Nancy. It was I was separate.

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I was always an outcast. With
him, and he made it very

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clear, very obvious, he didn't
want me eating at the dinner table with

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the rest of the family. He
didn't want me. He did not want

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me in that relationship, and so
we had a very distant and unaffectionate and

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unloving sort of environment with him and
myself. After these challenging relationships with the

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father figures in her life in her
youth as an adult, Nancy would eventually

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meet someone who seemed like a stable
male presence in her world. So in

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two thousand and one, I was
so excited I had met my dream come

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true. I had met the man
of my dreams. I'd been waiting my

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whole life for this happily hour after
and I was so thrilled. He was

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tall, dark, handsome, he
was just all of it. And I

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was so ecstatic to be marrying this
guy. That he picked me, that

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he wanted me, that he chose
me, was really something really special to

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me. They both found new jobs
in a new state, and we're going

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to move across the country together and
start a new life together with Nancy's year

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old daughter from our first marriage,
We set out on a cross country move

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to start our new lives together to
dream new dreams, big dreams, and

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we both landed fabulous new jobs in
this bright, shiny area and it was

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really magical. It really was such
a magical time. We were extremely excited

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about this new life we were building, were kind of reinventing ourselves. We

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had this whole hopes and dreams and
plans, and we were moving towards the

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Big Apple and we had great,
big dreams in that area and a brand

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new start with my daughter. So
I had a young child at the time,

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and he had claimed to love her
almost as much as he loved me.

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So it was finally the whole fairy
tale. Unfortunately it didn't end up

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that way. Well, this was
more than red flags. It was very

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shortly after and it was right after
the tragic events eleven. They had happened

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the week that I moved to that
area, So it was within a matter

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of weeks he had just point blank
said, this is a mistake. I

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don't want to be married to you
anymore, and I need you and your

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daughter to get out. Yeah.
I think he had a psychological breakdown.

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I think the truth is I was
still living in Wisconsin. I had to

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sell a house, I had to
pack, I had to get all these

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things ready. His new job had
started before mine, so I had a

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little bit of leeway because I had
a daughter to enroll in school, and

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you know, all the stuff involved
with the cross country move. So when

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nine to eleven happened, he was
all alone in this you know, big

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study, and he had just started
this new job, and then all of

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a sudden, I mean, the
whole world and especially in that area,

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everybody was just holding their breath.
I mean it was just the whole world

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was on high alert and alone,
arms are going off, and all he's

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hearing about and seeing and everything is
all of this tragedy getting all around him,

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and I think it freaked him out. I think he had somewhat of

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a breakdown. That's my that's my
best guess as to what might what might

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have happened. Nancy's new job,
like her new marriage, seemed like an

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ideal opportunity. Also, like her
marriage, it would end in surprising,

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abrupt fashion. Right after I got
started in my brand new job, very

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exciting executive position with a hospital in
the area. Right after I got started,

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after just a few weeks after the
tragic events nine nine to eleven,

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happened and a major investor pulled out
the funding, and so the CEO of

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the of the corporation of the hospital
center came to me and said, you

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know, unfortunately, we're really really
sorry, but our funding is gone for

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this position and we have to eliminate
it. We just don't have any choice,

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and hope you understand and will write
you a great recommendation letter. You've

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been fabulous, but there's just nothing
that we can do about it. And

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they just were really on Everybody was
just on pins and needles of what was

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happening in the world. We had
a pending war. Things were just really

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high tense situations. So right after
that, I kind of landed on my

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feet, which I have a pattern
of doing. I was a go getter.

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It was super driven, very ambitious, and I knew, Okay,

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if I got this really great executive
job, I for sure would turn around.

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I'm going to get another job.
I reached back out to the recruiters.

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I started looking at opportunities and I
found this fabulous new opportunity, another

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one where I would be Now at
this point, I would be the CEO

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of a brand new entity that was
getting built. It was just in the

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process of being built, and it
was right in the area that we had

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moved to, so it was really
close to the home that we were living

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in, and it would have it
just seemed even more ideal than the initial

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job. So I got into that
job, and about six weeks into it,

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maybe not even maybe four four weeks
or so, the same kind of

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situation happened where the owner of the
company approached me and said, so terribly

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sorry, this just has never happened
before. But the project, it's in

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the middle of the build. The
build has been completely stopped. All of

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the investors have pulled out at the
eleventh hour. Everything was supposed to go

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through, and now we're stuck with
the situation. We love you, we

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think you're great, and the only
opportunity that we actually can can consider would

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be having you take one of our
regional traveling executive roles, where you are

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traveling five days a week throughout any
areas that we need you. And at

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that point, I had this young
daughter, and I had my brand new

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husband telling me he didn't want me
in his life anymore. They needed to

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get out right now, and that
he had made this tragic mistake in his

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mind and no matter what I did
to try and talk him out of that

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and kind of change those things,
the new job, all of a sudden

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was untenable. It was just not
going to happen. There was no way

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I could take that kind of opportunity
and travel five days a week with a

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young child. That just wasn't even
an option. So at that time,

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when I'm recognizing now I have no
options left for a job. So I

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have no job, I know I'm
not going to have anywhere to live.

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I've got this daughter that I'm responsible
for, my loved and precious daughter,

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and I'm looking at my life and
everything that I had put all my eggs

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into this basket. I'd moved us
across country. I lost two jobs,

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not just one, but two jobs
through no fault of my own and no

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safety net. I'd spent my retirement
savings, I'd used all my credit cards,

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I used every time I had and
so all of a sudd and I'm

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faced with my back is one hundred
percent up against the wall. And in

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that part of the country, the
requirements, I mean, there was just

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no negotiation whatsoever. They wanted a
month and a half security deposit plus one

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month's rent upfront. That's a ton
of money in an area on the east

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coast, completely far, far away
from the little tiny towns of Wisconsin that

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I was familiar with, and I
just I had no options. There was

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nowhere to turn. There wasn't any
place to look. I had gone to

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every banking institution i'd got, but
I had no Now I had no jobs,

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so I had no job security.
I couldn't offer them any kind of

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here's my job stubs, here's what
I'm doing, here's the income I have.

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I have nothing. I have absolutely
nothing to turn to. But then

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someone came into Nancy's life. It
seemed to have a relatively easy to all

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of her problems. And I'd finally
gotten an opportunity to just do a sales

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rep job at an exposition center where
I was repping for an it kind of

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company that was doing smart home security
stuff. And I was supposed to be

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there for a whole day plus and
after after the expo event, which was

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like a social hour, and my
job was to try and sign up as

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many people as possible for a home
walkthrough, and the potential for commission on

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the sales. Any sales that I
made was huge, and so there was

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a huge upside. I was super
excited because I knew I was good at

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this. I knew I could land
a sale, and if I did,

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this would also be a potential job
and I could get hired on, which

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would be the long term goal because
I was so desperate. So I'm at

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this expo and I'm meeting tons of
people. I'm collecting all the cars and

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I'm talking to customers and I'm doing
all the stuff. And then close down

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the event during the day and we
go to the cocktail hour afterwards, and

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that's where the real socializing is taking
place, and I'm really hoping that I

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can connect more one on one with
some of the people who had walked by

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the booth earlier in the day.
And sure enough, a really decent looking

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guy came over. He's all dressed
up in a fancy suit and it just

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looks really like a dignified, sophisticated
businessman. And he comes over and he

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introduces himself as Joel, and he
tells me that he saw the system,

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and he's like, I'm really really
interested in this man. My wife and

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I really could use a security system
like this, And tell me a little

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bit more about it. So I
go into all the benefits and all the

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features and all the sales pitchy thing, and he's all in. And he

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says his wife will be down in
just a little while. She's up in

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the hotel getting ready and they're going
to go have dinner together. And he's

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like, I really want you to
meet her. Oh my gosh, you

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are just going to love her,
but we really need to talk about this

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security system. She is going to
be all in because this is a really

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important thing. I'm so excited because
this is like, oh my gosh,

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I'm chomping at the bit. I
am desperate at this point. I mean

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desperate, desperate. I had just
been to a food pantry before I'd even

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gotten to this expo, so I
was really desperate for money, and this

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idea. I had this like fish
on the line, you know, I

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had this potential, this potential customer, and I was really excited. So

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a little while later, his wife
does come down and I need her,

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and the two of them are,
yes, indeed, very excited in this

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security system. And so we set
up a home visit and Joel just starts

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talking to me about the reason that
they need this system, and it was

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really weird. I walked over to
Joel, who was putting on the grill

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outside. Joel and Kelly seemed like
a totally normal couple, but they would

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say some things casually that weren't exactly
normal. I guess we don't really trust

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the banking system, so we keep
a lot of cash at the house.

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I didn't know what to make of
that. Oh, Kelly gets paid in

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cash mostly. She's kind of like
a model. In the moment, that

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made sense, given Kelly's looks.
Understood, Well, you won't have to

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worry about security anymore after we get
you set up. What kind of modeling

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does Kelly do. Well, it's
not exactly modeling per se. She's paid

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to spend time with people. I
see. We're very secure in our relationship.

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We just never saw what the big
deal was about seeing other people.

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Are you single? I was deeply
embarrassed about the fact that I already had

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three failed marriages, So I just
said I'm single and I want to stay

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that way. Oh. I wasn't
starry, of course, not. That

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wasn't directed at you. You were
married before. I don't really like to

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talk about it. I understand you
have family nearby. It's complicated. Yeah,

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we're not close to either of our
families. It's always just been the

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two of us. I know how
that feels. How long have you been

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doing sales for your company? It's
recent. I used to work in executive

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leadership. I'm going to get back
there at some point. Job market's a

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lot tougher than I thought. What
I was way too humiliated to say was

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that I had just been to a
food pantry to get food and toiletries and

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I had negative thirty two sixty one
in my checking account. We've been there.

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Are you making good money doing the
sales job? I'll need to I

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have a daughter. Well, I'm
sure you'll do great. You're obviously gorgeous,

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you present yourself well, and you
know your stuff. I could feel

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00:15:58.960 --> 00:16:03.679
my cheeks burning with embarrassment at that
time. I didn't feel deserving of any

206
00:16:03.759 --> 00:16:08.039
kind of compliment. Just this is
just so you know. The option is

207
00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:11.240
there. People would pay a lot
of money to spend time with you,

208
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like in what way? Dates just
wealthy men, probably men who work in

209
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executive leadership like you did. They
don't have time to really look for a

210
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romantic partner, and they'd probably have
a lot in common with you. They

211
00:16:26.000 --> 00:16:30.360
might even pay more for you for
that reason, and you'd pick who you

212
00:16:30.399 --> 00:16:34.720
see. I'm not sure. Well, how much money do you think you

213
00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:40.080
need to get solid? Whatever stresses
you have financially, what would it take

214
00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:44.080
to clear those? Well, I
owe some back payments on my car.

215
00:16:44.799 --> 00:16:48.440
I'm behind a couple of months on
rent. I borrowed some money. I'd

216
00:16:48.480 --> 00:16:52.279
say about five thousand. That would
take a lot of the heat off.

217
00:16:52.639 --> 00:16:56.559
You'll make that in a week or
two. Easy. Oh, look,

218
00:16:56.600 --> 00:17:00.759
I'm overdrawn in my checking account.
There's no way that I can pay you

219
00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:03.799
anything. If that's where this is
going. Oh no, not at all.

220
00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:06.839
We'll help you get set up and
then you take it from there.

221
00:17:06.880 --> 00:17:11.519
I just see you have a problem, and I know of a solution.

222
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You seem like a good person who
just had some tough breaks. I'm just

223
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letting you know. The option is
there dates, dates, go to dinner,

224
00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:26.240
go to a show. If you're
some CEO and you're traveling and you're

225
00:17:26.279 --> 00:17:27.799
in a new city for just a
couple of days and you want some company,

226
00:17:29.119 --> 00:17:32.519
that's what this is. They pay
a premium for the convenience of having

227
00:17:32.519 --> 00:17:37.240
that companionship. What kind of premium
five hundred two one thousand per date,

228
00:17:37.559 --> 00:17:42.880
just like that, exactly like that. You're talking about being a hanker.

229
00:17:44.160 --> 00:17:47.759
Oh, of course not. It's
a date like any other date. You're

230
00:17:47.839 --> 00:17:49.960
in charge. If you're into each
other and you end up having sex,

231
00:17:51.079 --> 00:17:53.640
no biggie, but it's not expected
and it's not the main purpose of the

232
00:17:53.720 --> 00:17:57.759
date at all. I didn't know
what to believe. I wasn't sure this

233
00:17:57.920 --> 00:18:02.799
was all above board, But there
was one thing I was sure of.

234
00:18:03.319 --> 00:18:07.720
I couldn't carry around that pit of
dread in my stomach much longer. I

235
00:18:07.880 --> 00:18:14.119
had literally less than zero dollars and
barely enough guess to even make it home

236
00:18:14.160 --> 00:18:22.160
from this dinner. How does it
work? So he explained that he would

237
00:18:22.160 --> 00:18:26.079
have to take pictures, and that
there was a website that we would be

238
00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:29.319
using, and he would do all
of this. He was just totally willing

239
00:18:29.319 --> 00:18:33.240
to help me with everything, and
I got the feeling like it just seemed

240
00:18:33.279 --> 00:18:37.079
really kind. I was really grateful, and I couldn't believe that him and

241
00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:41.200
his wife were being so kind to
me, and that they seemed to get

242
00:18:41.279 --> 00:18:45.400
that I was in such a desperate
situation. And so when we started doing

243
00:18:45.440 --> 00:18:49.559
the pictures and stuff like in my
mind, this is like a headshot,

244
00:18:49.640 --> 00:18:56.319
this is like a business photograph.
I'm in a skirt suit. I mean,

245
00:18:56.559 --> 00:19:02.920
I was just really really naive.
I didn't unders stand. He got

246
00:19:02.920 --> 00:19:07.640
me a cell phone that I could
use specifically to He taught me how to

247
00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:12.599
even respond, how to go back
and forth with people interacting with the website.

248
00:19:12.720 --> 00:19:18.119
There was like a forum where people
would reach out to people through the

249
00:19:18.160 --> 00:19:22.359
website, and then just the way
that you set up like a chatting system

250
00:19:22.599 --> 00:19:27.279
and all of that. And so
then the very next thing that they offered

251
00:19:27.559 --> 00:19:34.079
was his wife actually had a date
that was wanting. She thought that he

252
00:19:34.119 --> 00:19:40.279
would really like to meet me,
and she offered to go along, and

253
00:19:40.359 --> 00:19:44.920
that we were going to meet at
this hotel restaurant and we were going to

254
00:19:44.960 --> 00:19:48.000
have dinner, and it was just
going to be just nice, pleasant evening

255
00:19:49.000 --> 00:19:52.559
of being and she was going to
kind of show me the ropes of how

256
00:19:52.599 --> 00:19:57.359
a date work. So we have
dinner, we're having this really polite conversation.

257
00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:03.359
Everything seems very much much kosher.
It seems very polite, it seems

258
00:20:03.480 --> 00:20:07.119
very professional. The guy is this
older man. He's in banking, and

259
00:20:07.160 --> 00:20:12.279
I was really into banking and understood
a lot about business principles. I understood

260
00:20:12.319 --> 00:20:18.880
that from my way of looking at
it, after the events of nine to

261
00:20:18.920 --> 00:20:22.480
eleven. The whole world was really
on its head at that moment, and

262
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:30.079
there was a lot of implications in
the banking industry financially from that perspective.

263
00:20:30.119 --> 00:20:33.960
So we have this really intense kind
of conversation, and I thought that all

264
00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:37.480
seemed very legit. And then he
said, hey, do you guys want

265
00:20:37.480 --> 00:20:41.559
to listen to the band that'll be
playing in a little bit And that sounded

266
00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:45.200
fine, and she said yes,
and I said yes. And then he

267
00:20:45.440 --> 00:20:48.559
said that he left his jacket up
in the room and would we come up

268
00:20:48.720 --> 00:20:53.759
and come up to his room,
he'd grab his jacket and we could go

269
00:20:55.000 --> 00:21:00.279
listen to the band. And so
I'm taking in. This is a really

270
00:21:00.359 --> 00:21:04.200
fancy suite at the top of the
of the hotel, and it's it's the

271
00:21:04.240 --> 00:21:08.039
first time I've ever been in one
of those kind of hotel suites, an

272
00:21:08.039 --> 00:21:12.880
executive suite kind of thing. And
so I'm looking around the hotel and he

273
00:21:14.039 --> 00:21:17.599
keeps asking if we want a drink, and he's pouring drinks for him and

274
00:21:17.640 --> 00:21:22.039
this other lady, and you know, just casual conversation. The band doesn't

275
00:21:22.039 --> 00:21:25.920
start for a little while, and
I'm turning around. As I'm turning around

276
00:21:25.920 --> 00:21:29.519
in the room, all of a
sudden, I open up my you know,

277
00:21:29.599 --> 00:21:33.559
I turn around and I'm opening up
my eyes to him taking off her

278
00:21:33.599 --> 00:21:40.599
clothes and her taking off his,
and I realized in an instant, i'man

279
00:21:40.960 --> 00:21:48.240
just like that, everything is now
crystal clear, and I know why I'm

280
00:21:48.279 --> 00:21:53.599
there and what this is about,
and I'm just horrified and paralyzed, and

281
00:21:53.640 --> 00:22:00.880
I don't know what to do.
In that moment, I felt that I

282
00:22:00.920 --> 00:22:07.079
owed this woman everything I had agreed
to this I had agreed, and I

283
00:22:07.119 --> 00:22:12.160
don't want to make her look bad. I feel like I want to run,

284
00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:18.359
and yet I'm stuck in this place
and all I can think is I

285
00:22:18.240 --> 00:22:22.240
don't know what to do. And
the guy says, come on over,

286
00:22:22.680 --> 00:22:30.119
join us, and I did,
and that is when everything in my mind

287
00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:34.160
changed completely, and I just I
didn't see myself the way that I used

288
00:22:34.200 --> 00:22:40.160
to, and I knew that I
was somebody different. At the end of

289
00:22:40.200 --> 00:22:45.960
that experience, the guy says that
he wants to continue seeing me, and

290
00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:51.720
he had given me of a bonus, I guess you'd say, and she

291
00:22:51.960 --> 00:22:57.480
had paid me five hundred dollars so
between both of them for one evening.

292
00:22:57.720 --> 00:23:03.559
I now realize what it would take
me in at least a week to make

293
00:23:03.720 --> 00:23:08.400
five hundred dollars I made on one
date, and the fact that he wanted

294
00:23:08.440 --> 00:23:15.119
to see me again, and as
disgusting and awful as I felt about it,

295
00:23:15.240 --> 00:23:21.079
the alternative of going back to the
food pantry, going back to begging

296
00:23:21.720 --> 00:23:27.559
and looking at the options which there
were none and no. I had nothing.

297
00:23:27.640 --> 00:23:30.400
I had nothing to offer, and
I had a daughter that I had

298
00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:33.799
to support. I had bills that
had to be paid, we had to

299
00:23:33.839 --> 00:23:40.319
live somewhere, we had to make
our way, and there wasn't anywhere else

300
00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:45.920
to turn. So for me,
in that moment, a decision was made

301
00:23:45.480 --> 00:23:52.440
that I was going to just go
forward. Nancy soon was making serious money.

302
00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:55.960
In three weeks, she paid back
alone from her mother with interest,

303
00:23:56.440 --> 00:24:00.960
and pre paid her rent for six
months. She didn't owe any one anything.

304
00:24:00.480 --> 00:24:04.720
After the six months, Nancy bought
a house and paid for a year's

305
00:24:04.759 --> 00:24:12.119
rent upfront. She was financially stable. Finally, I was making more money

306
00:24:12.640 --> 00:24:18.960
in any given week than I'd ever
seen in my entire life. I was

307
00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:26.359
bringing in anywhere between thirty to forty
five thousand dollars a month a month,

308
00:24:26.799 --> 00:24:32.160
and so for anybody realistically, this
was two thousand and three, four five

309
00:24:32.640 --> 00:24:40.359
six. It was very It was
a very lucrative and seductive business. But

310
00:24:40.440 --> 00:24:45.720
at what cost. You're always on
alert that there are going to be raids,

311
00:24:47.160 --> 00:24:51.200
that you're being set up, that
someone could hurt you. In my

312
00:24:51.400 --> 00:24:55.519
case, the majority of the time, not a single person on the planet

313
00:24:55.640 --> 00:24:59.640
knew where I was at any given
point in time with any particular person.

314
00:25:00.119 --> 00:25:06.400
I could be walking into a room
that I could be not knowing at all

315
00:25:06.519 --> 00:25:10.160
what's on the other side of that, who was on the other side of

316
00:25:10.200 --> 00:25:15.079
that. And there were many,
many, many dangerous situations that I was

317
00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:21.480
faced with again and again and again, and one time in particular, there

318
00:25:21.559 --> 00:25:27.799
was this guy that just came into
the room and just set the whole thing

319
00:25:29.279 --> 00:25:33.000
on its head. Everything that I
ever was afraid of came full circle came

320
00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:40.480
right there. During one of my
trips, I went to three different hotels

321
00:25:40.599 --> 00:25:45.359
in and around the airport, and
on the last day I was exhausted after

322
00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:49.880
seeing date after date, I only
had one date left. He just wanted

323
00:25:49.920 --> 00:25:56.359
to talk. That would have been
a small mercy, except for what he

324
00:25:56.440 --> 00:26:02.039
wanted to talk about. I see
women at the store, at the coffee

325
00:26:02.079 --> 00:26:07.160
shop, walking their dogs, and
I find myself playing out in my head

326
00:26:07.240 --> 00:26:11.400
what I would do to them.
Like if a woman is going for a

327
00:26:11.519 --> 00:26:15.240
jog around my neighborhood and I'm driving
home from the store, Well, maybe

328
00:26:15.279 --> 00:26:18.640
it's nine o'clock at night, most
everyone's home, it's quiet out. I'm

329
00:26:18.640 --> 00:26:22.640
in my truck, and I could
just pull my truck over to the side

330
00:26:22.799 --> 00:26:26.440
and ask that blonde jogging for directions, like I'm from out of town and

331
00:26:26.480 --> 00:26:32.880
I'm lost, and she'd stop jogging
and I could just open my door,

332
00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:36.400
grab her by the neck, lock
one arm under her armpit, and just

333
00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:40.440
hoist her up into the truck.
No one would even notice, not drive

334
00:26:40.519 --> 00:26:45.119
off. There was no punchline.
It wasn't a joke. I was alone

335
00:26:45.200 --> 00:26:48.960
in a hotel room with this man. No one, no one on planet

336
00:26:48.039 --> 00:26:52.200
Earth had any idea that I was
here. And I've got myself a secluded

337
00:26:52.279 --> 00:26:57.079
lot just about five minutes away.
There's never anyone there. I keep a

338
00:26:57.079 --> 00:27:00.920
bowie knife in my truck in the
glow compartment. I'd open the door and

339
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:03.519
hold her out so not to get
a mess in the truck. You know,

340
00:27:04.240 --> 00:27:07.119
she'd scream, but I'd slid her
throat before she could scream too much.

341
00:27:07.519 --> 00:27:11.319
He was on the little couch closest
to the door. I'd lock that

342
00:27:11.440 --> 00:27:18.319
door. I'd put myself here.
The only way out of this room was

343
00:27:18.400 --> 00:27:22.400
through this man. Wayne, when
you bleed a deer, you might hang

344
00:27:22.480 --> 00:27:26.359
that deer up for a day before
you butchered up. Obviously, I couldn't

345
00:27:26.400 --> 00:27:30.839
do that here, so I'd just
put a tarp in the back. Two

346
00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:33.599
tarps, I suppose, one to
protect the bed of the truck, the

347
00:27:33.640 --> 00:27:37.119
other for discretion. Of course,
I realized the only chance I had was

348
00:27:37.119 --> 00:27:41.200
to talk Wayne down. What do
you do for a living? Wayne?

349
00:27:41.599 --> 00:27:47.559
A living? Huh? Yeah,
I'm a lawyer. What firm do you

350
00:27:47.640 --> 00:27:52.480
work for? Sanderson and Sanderson.
I'm not a Sanderson, but I'm about

351
00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:55.920
to be partner, so I guess
soon it'll be Sanderson and Sanderson and Pike.

352
00:27:56.720 --> 00:28:02.720
That's a big accomplishment. Congratulations,
Thank you. Did you always have

353
00:28:02.759 --> 00:28:06.119
an interest in the law. It
was the only thing that got him to

354
00:28:06.119 --> 00:28:11.160
switch topics. He was proud of
his work. After another hour, he

355
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:14.759
looked at his watch. Thank you, miss Nancy, Thank you kindly,

356
00:28:15.559 --> 00:28:22.400
my pleasure. He handed me the
standard envelope with payment and left. Other

357
00:28:22.440 --> 00:28:26.200
interactions with clients would pivot around how
much of Nancy's time they could demand,

358
00:28:26.759 --> 00:28:32.599
to the point that they wanted her
all to themselves. So I had this

359
00:28:32.680 --> 00:28:36.920
guy that i'd been seeing for a
couple of years. We had gotten pretty

360
00:28:36.920 --> 00:28:40.599
close, and the more and more
that we got to know each other in

361
00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:45.240
the first year, he just continuously
was asking me to be exclusive. And

362
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:52.480
that's a particular word that's used in
that line of work. When somebody wants

363
00:28:52.519 --> 00:28:56.160
to be exclusive with you, you
take yourself off of the market for anybody

364
00:28:56.200 --> 00:29:02.039
else for dating. The men I
had been seeing for quite a while,

365
00:29:02.359 --> 00:29:07.880
Paul seemed genuinely interested in knowing more
about my life. He would often ask

366
00:29:07.960 --> 00:29:14.079
me what I wanted where I saw
myself going professionally. And then one day

367
00:29:15.160 --> 00:29:26.279
he asked me this, you should
just see me. I don't think you

368
00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:32.759
could afford me, try me.
I this is what I do. Paul,

369
00:29:33.000 --> 00:29:37.200
Do you understand what you're asking for? No, I completely understand.

370
00:29:37.799 --> 00:29:41.480
I think you don't understand what's behind
me. Give me the number and it's

371
00:29:41.480 --> 00:29:45.920
done. Whatever you want, all
I ask, is that you only see

372
00:29:45.960 --> 00:29:51.799
me. I have a boyfriend outside
of this, a real boyfriend. I

373
00:29:51.880 --> 00:29:56.200
hesitated, not wanting to offend him. Someone outside of this that doesn't bother

374
00:29:56.279 --> 00:30:00.880
me. But in this, I
want to be the only person you see.

375
00:30:00.400 --> 00:30:03.200
And I want to be able to
see you for more than just a

376
00:30:03.319 --> 00:30:07.880
day or a night here and there. It's going to be a lot.

377
00:30:07.200 --> 00:30:11.440
I mean what I say anything.
And I want to get you a car

378
00:30:11.519 --> 00:30:15.759
too. I have a car.
No like a real car, it is

379
00:30:15.960 --> 00:30:18.079
a real car. I know you
want to get into business in a major

380
00:30:18.119 --> 00:30:23.240
way. You need to look the
part. You're crazy. I'm crazy about

381
00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:26.759
you. Hey, just because it's
cheesey doesn't mean it's not true. And

382
00:30:26.799 --> 00:30:30.799
you walk me into it and another
thing, and I don't want you to

383
00:30:30.839 --> 00:30:34.440
take offense. You know, I
think you are the sexiest thing I've ever

384
00:30:34.480 --> 00:30:40.400
seen. If you want that surgery, I'll cover that too. From our

385
00:30:40.440 --> 00:30:45.680
many long conversations, Paul knew I
was self conscious about some of the scarring

386
00:30:45.759 --> 00:30:51.400
I had from childbirth and the toll
that the extreme weight gain and weight loss

387
00:30:51.440 --> 00:30:56.400
had taken on my body. I
wasn't offended. It was something I had

388
00:30:56.440 --> 00:31:00.519
wanted for years. I could hardly
believe he was willing to give this incredible

389
00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:10.480
gift to me. You're sure this
is it's too much. Hey. When

390
00:31:10.480 --> 00:31:15.359
I make a decision, I make
it carefully. I'm not playing around here.

391
00:31:15.920 --> 00:31:21.599
And all you want is just more
time with me? Is that so

392
00:31:21.720 --> 00:31:29.920
bad? No? No it's not. Then just say yes and it's done.

393
00:31:30.200 --> 00:31:36.000
Yes. He would lay down fifteen
thousand dollars for this, twenty thousand

394
00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:38.920
dollars for that, five thousand dollars
here, two thousand dollars here. I

395
00:31:38.920 --> 00:31:45.000
mean, it was just grand amounts
of money, and he was just displaying

396
00:31:45.000 --> 00:31:48.680
it over and over again. So
I really didn't have any reason to not

397
00:31:48.799 --> 00:31:53.279
believe him until one day, these
three FBI agents start up at my house.

398
00:31:55.480 --> 00:32:00.160
They knock on my door. I'm
completely flabbergasted. They bring up his

399
00:32:00.240 --> 00:32:04.359
name and they ask if I know
him, and of course I do,

400
00:32:05.079 --> 00:32:12.400
and they say he's been arrested for
wire fraud and money laundering, and we've

401
00:32:12.440 --> 00:32:20.160
been investigating his spending patterns and all
of these huge bolos of money that he's

402
00:32:20.200 --> 00:32:25.839
been taking out our link directly to
you. And so he's telling us that

403
00:32:27.559 --> 00:32:32.920
it's all been alone and that you
actually owe him this money what is the

404
00:32:32.960 --> 00:32:38.480
true nature of your relationship? And
so I'm stuck trying to figure out really

405
00:32:38.559 --> 00:32:45.000
quick on my feet with these three
FBI agents in my home. Oh my

406
00:32:45.119 --> 00:32:46.200
god, Oh my god, Oh
my god, How am I going to

407
00:32:46.279 --> 00:32:51.880
answer this in an honest way?
How am I going to tell them?

408
00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:53.680
I don't know this guy anything.
You've got to be kidding me. I

409
00:32:53.720 --> 00:32:59.079
can't believe he would say that.
I was horrified at the thought that he

410
00:32:59.200 --> 00:33:04.119
was telling them I owed him money. So they had just wanted to know

411
00:33:04.319 --> 00:33:07.480
the nature of the relationship, and
I had to admit that we had an

412
00:33:07.519 --> 00:33:15.319
intimate relationship. We were dating,
which was really far fetched. This guy

413
00:33:15.559 --> 00:33:22.599
was much much older than I was. It would have been really unseemly for

414
00:33:22.680 --> 00:33:25.079
the two of us to be together
in a relationship. And it was kind

415
00:33:25.119 --> 00:33:32.279
of a wink wink. Everybody knew
what this kind of was. Eventually,

416
00:33:32.759 --> 00:33:38.119
Nancy started to build her own legitimate
business, a fruit bouquet delivery business.

417
00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:45.680
It seemed like a way out.
My ticket to freedom out of that life

418
00:33:45.000 --> 00:33:51.640
was to open my own business,
and an opportunity presented itself out of nowhere

419
00:33:52.279 --> 00:33:55.200
in my hometown. I can now
be home every night. I don't have

420
00:33:55.279 --> 00:34:00.599
to travel. I've got full carte
blanche opportununity here right in front of me,

421
00:34:01.160 --> 00:34:05.480
because all of the men that i'd
been seeing, had all of the

422
00:34:05.519 --> 00:34:09.960
money that I had been receiving,
was going toward launching this new business,

423
00:34:10.440 --> 00:34:15.800
and this was a fabulous opportunity.
I did all of the really hard heavy

424
00:34:15.880 --> 00:34:21.519
lifting of getting this business opened and
off the ground, and part of that

425
00:34:21.800 --> 00:34:24.960
was marketing it like a crazy person. And I registered with every chamber of

426
00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:30.960
commerce, every business networking group,
every professional business association throughout my entire home

427
00:34:31.119 --> 00:34:37.000
area, as well as the sixty
mile radius surrounding it, so about thirteen

428
00:34:37.079 --> 00:34:39.719
counties in total. And this is
back in the time. You know,

429
00:34:39.760 --> 00:34:44.880
you got to remember social media marketing
wasn't a thing at all. It didn't

430
00:34:44.920 --> 00:34:46.960
exist. I had a fax machine, and I thought I was pretty cool

431
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:51.679
because I had a fax machine.
Most of everything I was doing was in

432
00:34:51.800 --> 00:34:54.599
person on the phone, a lot
of product sampling, a lot of word

433
00:34:54.599 --> 00:34:58.960
of mouth, word of mouth,
word of mouth, and one day out

434
00:34:58.960 --> 00:35:01.679
of the middle of no in the
middle of a really hectic morning rush,

435
00:35:01.679 --> 00:35:07.039
I got a phone call from the
president of my local Chamber of commerce.

436
00:35:08.519 --> 00:35:13.800
My cell phone rang. It was
one of the officers of the large networking

437
00:35:13.840 --> 00:35:17.639
groups I was a member of.
She asked if I had received a packet

438
00:35:17.679 --> 00:35:22.320
in the mail, and I said
that I'd been so busy I hadn't even

439
00:35:22.400 --> 00:35:28.440
checked the mail. She explained that
she had received an unmarked envelope containing some

440
00:35:28.559 --> 00:35:32.760
very disturbing information about me that she
thought I needed to see. She went

441
00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:38.039
on to share that she had received
several phone calls already from other business leaders

442
00:35:38.079 --> 00:35:43.880
from the group, both from our
city and others nearby. Asking if she

443
00:35:44.039 --> 00:35:47.280
knew anything about this packet, I
said I'd be right over and hung up

444
00:35:47.320 --> 00:35:52.400
the phone, shaking so severely that
I dropped the phone, my head spinning

445
00:35:52.639 --> 00:35:58.880
dizzily as I felt the air in
the room disappear in one giant whooshing sound.

446
00:35:59.800 --> 00:36:06.159
It was as if everything went dead, silent, and time froze.

447
00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:09.440
Somehow, I managed to get into
her office building and found the elevator.

448
00:36:10.960 --> 00:36:17.760
My body was shaking uncontrollably as the
elevator moved from floor to floor. I

449
00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:22.320
tried to calm myself enough to be
somewhat professional. When I arrived at her

450
00:36:22.360 --> 00:36:28.039
office. She was waiting for me
and hurried me inside, closing the office

451
00:36:28.039 --> 00:36:30.719
door behind me. I sat down
in one of the chairs at the front

452
00:36:30.719 --> 00:36:36.400
of her big desk. As she
handed me the thick envelope. The outside

453
00:36:36.400 --> 00:36:43.119
of the envelope appeared dirty, with
smudged fingerprints all over it. She'd already

454
00:36:43.159 --> 00:36:46.599
opened it, But as I took
out the stapled packet and unfolded it,

455
00:36:46.679 --> 00:36:52.559
I realized I had been holding my
breath, making my lungs feel as though

456
00:36:52.599 --> 00:36:57.119
they were ready to burst, my
heart beating wildly out of control as it

457
00:36:57.159 --> 00:37:01.199
tried to force my brain into action. My mind was racing with the words

458
00:37:01.559 --> 00:37:06.519
run, run, Just get up
and run out of there as fast as

459
00:37:06.519 --> 00:37:10.639
you can. Why are you just
sitting there paralyzed? I couldn't move,

460
00:37:12.760 --> 00:37:16.679
I couldn't breathe. As I opened
up the packet and saw immediately right there

461
00:37:16.719 --> 00:37:23.000
on the front page the ugly,
disgusting, vile words that I knew would

462
00:37:23.039 --> 00:37:28.880
be there, The words that caught
in my throat, blurred my vision and

463
00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:34.719
made my face burn red hot with
shame. They were the final nail in

464
00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:39.800
the coffin. Nancy is a prostitute, an escort. I just knew in

465
00:37:39.920 --> 00:37:46.079
that moment that everything was over.
My business was over, my life was

466
00:37:46.159 --> 00:37:53.880
over. Everything was over, and
I discovered that the packet had not only

467
00:37:53.920 --> 00:37:59.400
been sent to every business leader in
my home area, it had been sent

468
00:37:59.480 --> 00:38:06.679
to business leaders throughout the entire thirteen
counties. So I don't remember how I

469
00:38:06.719 --> 00:38:10.800
got out of her office. I
honestly don't. I was so hysterical and

470
00:38:10.960 --> 00:38:19.760
panicked and shaking after realizing that all
of these people had this packet, and

471
00:38:19.840 --> 00:38:25.559
this packet listed out line after line
the name of the website that all of

472
00:38:25.639 --> 00:38:32.039
us that were service providers used,
as well as people who utilized those services,

473
00:38:32.519 --> 00:38:36.920
so you had to pay for a
membership. So this website is all

474
00:38:36.960 --> 00:38:40.280
over this packet, and all I
can think about is anybody receiving this packet

475
00:38:40.360 --> 00:38:45.440
is going to type in this website
and the whole thing. It's irrefutable.

476
00:38:45.480 --> 00:38:52.159
There's damning evidence. There's no way
I can deny that this is real.

477
00:38:52.159 --> 00:38:55.960
And so I ended up going back
to my house. I don't, like

478
00:38:57.000 --> 00:39:00.320
I said, don't remember how I
even got home. I I couldn't tell

479
00:39:00.360 --> 00:39:04.599
you. I don't remember the trip
at all. I ended up back in

480
00:39:04.679 --> 00:39:07.559
my house. My daughter was at
school, and I'm alone, and the

481
00:39:07.639 --> 00:39:15.719
only thing I can think is I
am so panicked and full of hysteria,

482
00:39:15.760 --> 00:39:22.239
and I am just sobbing and just
what am I going to do? Oh

483
00:39:22.280 --> 00:39:25.480
my god, Oh my god,
what am I going to do? What

484
00:39:25.519 --> 00:39:29.519
am I going to do? Oh
my god, God, please please,

485
00:39:29.960 --> 00:39:35.360
please, You've got to help me. And I'm just saying that my in

486
00:39:35.440 --> 00:39:37.719
my head, I'm thinking my daughter
is going to be so much better off

487
00:39:37.760 --> 00:39:42.119
if I'm not here. There's no
possible way. How am I going to

488
00:39:42.199 --> 00:39:45.280
face her? She doesn't need to
be part of this. How do I

489
00:39:45.400 --> 00:39:49.719
keep this from her? How can
I protect her with all of these people

490
00:39:49.840 --> 00:39:52.440
knowing? And how am I going
to go to the local gas station?

491
00:39:52.599 --> 00:39:59.480
How am I going to face anyone
in this entire community? And so I

492
00:40:00.119 --> 00:40:05.440
sighted that the only answer was for
me to kill myself, to take myself

493
00:40:05.480 --> 00:40:09.480
out, because I just couldn't live
with it. I didn't think there was

494
00:40:09.519 --> 00:40:15.880
any way to live with it.
So as I'm trying to open this pill

495
00:40:15.920 --> 00:40:19.920
bottle, the bottle of the pills
just kept flying out of my hands and

496
00:40:19.960 --> 00:40:22.719
it would roll underneath the bed.
It would I'd get it back of my

497
00:40:22.800 --> 00:40:27.400
hands and it would roll over by
the night sound, and then I'd grab

498
00:40:27.440 --> 00:40:30.480
it again, and I just could
not get the top of this pill bottle

499
00:40:30.480 --> 00:40:34.000
open. It was just the strangest
thing. I'd taken these pills every night

500
00:40:34.079 --> 00:40:38.119
to go to sleep. My boyfriend
is walking in. He caused his parents

501
00:40:38.519 --> 00:40:43.320
and he has them pray the Daniel
and the lions Den and I don't even

502
00:40:43.360 --> 00:40:45.360
know what kind of pra that is. I'm not a religious person. At

503
00:40:45.360 --> 00:40:49.760
that time. You have to picture
this. I'm on my bedroom floor.

504
00:40:49.880 --> 00:40:53.679
I am hysterically sobbing. I'm trying
to kill myself, and all I can

505
00:40:53.719 --> 00:40:57.119
say is, oh my God,
Oh my God, Oh my God,

506
00:40:57.119 --> 00:40:59.480
God, please help me, God, Please help me God. I don't

507
00:40:59.519 --> 00:41:01.559
know what else to say. I
don't know who else I would call on

508
00:41:01.840 --> 00:41:07.039
in that moment of desperation. But
that's what I'm saying. So I'm saying

509
00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:10.679
that again and again. And that's
why my boyfriend says this prayer, has

510
00:41:10.800 --> 00:41:15.280
this prayer said. It's basically to
try and calm me down. It's the

511
00:41:15.320 --> 00:41:20.639
only thing he could think of.
Then he leaves, and that's when I

512
00:41:20.679 --> 00:41:23.920
get this call, and it's this
crazy thing that the whole website's crashed and

513
00:41:24.119 --> 00:41:32.719
all of my stuff is erased.
The website where Nancy had communicated with clients

514
00:41:34.199 --> 00:41:38.280
displayed her photos. The entire digital
trail of her time as a prostitute was

515
00:41:38.400 --> 00:41:46.320
gone permanently. There's no way that's
not a miracle. There's no way anybody

516
00:41:46.360 --> 00:41:52.719
nobody could tell me that's not a
miracle. That was miracle. It seemed

517
00:41:52.760 --> 00:41:55.199
like Nancy might be able to deny
the truth without the hard digital evidence of

518
00:41:55.239 --> 00:42:00.679
her secret second life. She moved
on. Life continued, and along the

519
00:42:00.679 --> 00:42:04.760
way, Nancy will be married a
total of five times. The fifth time

520
00:42:05.119 --> 00:42:10.039
was the charm, and finally I
met the wonderful man in my dreams.

521
00:42:10.079 --> 00:42:15.519
It's my fifth marriage. I finally
I feel like fifth is the charm.

522
00:42:15.599 --> 00:42:20.719
He's my I call him my fifth
and final Valentine. He's my forever Valentine.

523
00:42:21.000 --> 00:42:25.480
And my daughter just absolutely adores him. He's become her dad and that

524
00:42:25.599 --> 00:42:31.360
has just been such a wonderful experience. And in our new home community,

525
00:42:31.480 --> 00:42:38.320
I've been able to return to being
an executive. But Nancy eventually grew tired

526
00:42:38.440 --> 00:42:44.000
of hiding this part of her life
story. About a year ago, God

527
00:42:44.079 --> 00:42:49.480
started talking to me personally about sharing
my story and that it may help other

528
00:42:49.559 --> 00:42:54.960
people. It would set other people
free from similar episodes of shame. Guilt

529
00:42:55.000 --> 00:43:00.480
and fear because they think that those
things are universal. My story my slightly

530
00:43:00.519 --> 00:43:06.199
different than someone else's story, but
anything that people are hiding from or feeling

531
00:43:06.800 --> 00:43:12.039
that they've run from, I think
that this story sets people free. And

532
00:43:12.079 --> 00:43:16.079
the number one reason why I'm sharing
my story through this podcast is to get

533
00:43:16.360 --> 00:43:21.639
hope out. I think I'm a
hope dealer today, and I think if

534
00:43:21.639 --> 00:43:23.880
anybody could say anything about me,
that'd be a great thing to be thought

535
00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:29.679
of as a hope dealer. I
wanted to share the message that there's always

536
00:43:30.079 --> 00:43:35.719
always hope and that no matter how
far down you might feel you are,

537
00:43:36.159 --> 00:43:40.360
or how far away from hope you
might feel, believe me, there is

538
00:43:40.559 --> 00:43:54.079
hope on the other side of whatever
your situation is. Allegedly is a production

539
00:43:54.159 --> 00:43:58.800
of Voyage Media. The series is
produced by Nat Mandel, Robert Midas,

540
00:43:58.840 --> 00:44:01.920
and At Benemore. This episode,
A Wretch Like Me, was written,

541
00:44:02.000 --> 00:44:07.440
directed, and produced by Dan Benemore, Executive produced by Nancy Major, based

542
00:44:07.440 --> 00:44:12.039
on Nancy's book A Wretch Like Me, A Modern Day Mary Magdalen Saved by

543
00:44:12.079 --> 00:44:15.360
Grace. The book is available on
Amazon. A link is in the show

544
00:44:15.400 --> 00:44:20.679
notes. Original music by Dirls Gonzales
edited, sound, designed and mixed by

545
00:44:20.760 --> 00:44:23.519
John Higgins. If you're enjoying the
show, please leave us a five star

546
00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:29.800
review on Apple Podcasts or anywhere you're
listening, and subscribe now for future episodes.